Zenith

08/30/2026

So I wasn’t kidding when I said in an earlier post today that we really did not want to cram everything from the sidewalk sale back into the store.

Crisis averted.

We donated the rest of it to the upcoming church sale on September 26th at St. John the Baptist Ukrainian Catholic Church, so hopefully our loss will be their gain.

Somehow, between the private brunch party, the sidewalk sale, and the Saint John’s Emergency Merchandise Relocation Program, we still managed to throw together a Sunday brunch menu.

I cannot, however, guarantee that we will be especially zippy tomorrow.

My feet are already killing me, and at this point the staff of Zenith Labs is operating largely on inertia, caffeine, and poor judgment.

So come hungry, come patient, and if you see me moving slowly, just remember that this is our second Sunday brunch this week!

08/29/2026

The zenith needs help clearing out all of our stuff we don’t want to put it back in the store!!!!

South Side Chamber of Commerce

08/23/2026

The new Red Bean BBQ Burger was a success!

Unfortunately, we immediately ran out of them.

So, as a formal act of recompense, we are making Banana Pancakes for Sunday brunch.

Now, you would think that after going on 25 years, things here at Zenith Labs would have gotten easier—that somewhere along the way we would have finally mastered the elusive science of business projection.

Unfortunately, the evidence would suggest otherwise.

As proof, I offer the numerous occasions on which we have had to close Sunday brunch early because we simply ran out of food.

Every week I carefully check the position of the Earth, which planets are transiting one another, the barometric pressure, the specific gravity in the dining room, and how many squirrels have climbed the telephone pole at the corner of 26th and Sarah Street.

And yet, somehow, my prognostication remains less than flawless.

Part of me is secretly happy when we run out of food, though, because the one thing I hate more than running out of food is wasting it.

In case our regulars have never quite figured this out, that is really the whole point of Sunday brunch.

Brunch is how we end the week.

We turn everything into a buffet so we can use up what we have left, minimize waste, and avoid throwing perfectly good food into the garbage.

There is probably no such thing as a completely waste-free restaurant, but we come pretty darn close.

So I will continue refining the science, studying the squirrels, consulting the planets, and pretending any of this gives me useful information.

Hopefully we do not run out of everything before you get here.

But if we do, apparently Banana Pancakes are now considered an acceptable form of apology.

08/21/2026

The Zenith Labs have been busy lately—rewiring, repurposing and recreating a whole assortment of things, mostly from old junk boxes in my garage filled with forgotten lamp parts, orphaned fixtures and assorted electrical oddities.

Everything you see here has been completely rewired, all of the sockets have been replaced, and various pieces that probably never expected to meet one another have now been joined together in questionable but surprisingly harmonious matrimony.

Every creation has been thoroughly tested, and I have personally pre-shocked myself numerous times to ensure your safety and satisfaction.

Because here at the Zenith Labs, we firmly believe that nothing is garbage…

…it just hasn’t been electrocuted into its next incarnation yet. 😂⚡️

08/16/2026

I am not feeling particularly clever tonight. The world feels awfully divided right now. For 25 years we’ve tried to make this little corner of Pittsburgh a place where everybody is welcome, creativity and individuality are encouraged, old things are given another chance, and people are valued for what they are and what they might become. We don’t have any answers for the state of the world. Hell, some days we’re having enough trouble keeping this strange old place going. But tomorrow morning we’ll open the doors, put on the coffee, make the pancakes, and set the tables.

Sometimes keeping a place at the table for one another is reason enough.

08/15/2026

Small business owners and vendors can’t afford this stuff! Just this Thursday someone stole from the zenith if you can help find this person please contact them

🚨 Update: Police found the woman!
We’re asking for our community’s help.
We are seeking information regarding a recent theft at Pittsburgh Antique Shops and are hoping to identify the individual pictured. If you recognize her or have any information that may be helpful, please send us a private message rather than posting personal information in the comments.

Please do not contact, confront, or harass anyone pictured. We are simply looking to gather information that can be passed along appropriately.

Please share this post.

Thank you for helping us look out for our small business and our vendors. 💙

08/14/2026

Every so often something wanders into The Zenith that looks less like an antique and more like it escaped from a laboratory in a 1930s science-fiction movie.

Meet the Clement Clarke Synoptophore, made in England circa the 1930s.

This wonderfully over-engineered contraption was used to diagnose and treat strabismus and other binocular-vision disorders by showing each eye a separate image and seeing whether the brain could bring the two together.

And yes… we have the original slides too.

An example of this early Clement Clarke instrument is held in the Science Museum Group collection in England, which makes this one of those rare occasions when I can say with a perfectly straight face:

Museum example available. Zenith example for sale.

$1,195

08/13/2026

The staff vacation mutiny has officially ended with very little destruction (despite the dangerous lack of adult supervision), and for lack of better judgment we went ahead and made a new menu for this week.

I should probably insert some sort of cheerful interjection here about how we are all rested up and raring to go, but that would be wildly inaccurate.

Instead, we spent most of the break doing all the things we can never get done while the store is open, with varying degrees of success and several projects that probably should not be discussed publicly.

I was also hoping that during this little interlude the various fabricated conflicts around the world would end, the economy would improve, the horrid effects of global warming would miraculously stop, and fuel and food prices would dramatically drop.

Unfortunately, none of those things happened.

I briefly considered remaining closed for another week to give everyone a little more time to sort themselves out, but a sudden and overwhelming sense of futility got the better of me.

So we are opening.

Apparently commerce has won again.

08/09/2026

Zenith Alert: we are still closed for vacation.

Sorry I didn’t make another post earlier… I guess I had my head in the clouds!

The Zenith staff mutiny officially ends on the 13th, and we will resume our usual business hours along with all the pandemonium that comes with them.

Meanwhile, while everyone else was off vacationing, the usual adult supervision was not present to keep us in check, so we have been rearranging the store.

(insert evil laughter)

See you next week.

08/02/2026

I apologize for the late posting of this menu. My faculties were not at their best when I finally got home last night, and although I tried, I could not string together enough words to form a single recognizable thought.

Even now, after what passes for a sufficient amount of sleep, starting my second cup of coffee, and administering a couple of eye drops, my clarity remains foggy at best.

My current state is somewhat apropos, as it is also within this message that I must announce that, after today, The Zenith will be closed for vacation next week.

The Zenith does not do this of its own volition. Rather, the chief cake maker and old-person monitor (yes, we do require supervision at times) says she wants some time off. Then the girl who does everything says the same thing. Shortly afterward, the little heart of Sunday brunch and chief cheerleader announces that she too needs a break.

At that point, we here at Zenith Labs must capitulate.

Besides, my cake-making prowess is somewhat questionable even under ideal conditions, and at this particular moment we would only be saving you from a great deal of disappointment.

Oh—I just realized I did not need the eye drops.

My computer-screen glasses were dirty.

Anyway, come and get your Zenith today, because after that we disappear for a while.