Gray House Pies

10/02/2026

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**THE GRAY HOUSE GAZETTE**
*Keeping Cleveland Questionably Informed Since 2004*

# IT ALL STARTS AT 5.

Pizza Friday is here.

And tonight we once again unleash the newest member of our increasingly unruly Detroit pizza family:

# # # PHILLY CHEESESTEAK.

Shaved beef. Cheese. Peppers and onions. Thick, airy Detroit crust. Crispy caramelized cheese edges.

It's a cheesesteak.

It's a Detroit pizza.

Philadelphia and Detroit were not consulted.

**Pizza starts at 5.**

Order online now or just walk in and make decisions when you get here.

[ORDER PIZZA — Gray House Pies]

**GET IN HERE.**

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

10/02/2026

**THE GRAY HOUSE GAZETTE**
*Keeping Cleveland Questionably Informed Since 2004*

# IT'S 4:00. THIS IS YOUR PIZZA WARNING.

At 5:00, **Pizza Friday begins.**

At 7:00, Pizza Friday ends.

Between those two times, you should probably acquire pizza.

Tonight we've got all the usual Detroit-style suspects, plus our new **Italian Sausage Pizza made with locally produced Italian sausage.**

# # # OFFICIAL PIZZA GUIDANCE

According to the **National Bureau of Friday Dinner Completion**, pizza by itself constitutes only **73% of a properly executed Friday night.**

Adding **Pumpkin Pie or Pumpkin Bread** raises Friday completion to somewhere in the neighborhood of **104%.**

We don't understand the math either.

But these are experts and pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread are in the House tonight!

**Add pumpkin to your pizza order tonight.**

**PREORDER NOW.**

Pizza at 5.

Dinner solved.

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

10/02/2026

You can thank Diane for letting us know that our marketing guy has done it again: sending out a deal on FRIDAY that's only good on THURSDAY (OMG, it's so ridiculously funny to read that last sentence. If it wasn't the boss sending out these, shall we say, 'oversights', we'd have to fire him. Anyway, no way we bring it to his attention on pizza Friday (his day of worship). So just come on in today (Friday) and enjoy the deal. If you see him, don't let him know we are honoring the deal today, We'll work some magic on the register so he doesn't catch on.
(ohhhh, he probably has this email scheduled to go out every Friday for the next decade, So, if you get one next Friday and the Friday after that etc., just come on in and give us the high sign that you're 'in the club' and get your sausage rolls and go.)

**Today only: Three Sausage Rolls for $6.05.**

Why $6.05?

Because $6 seemed too orderly, and apparently we are now charging by whatever number wanders into our heads.

Three warm, flaky, pork-packed Sausage Rolls. Enough for lunch. Possibly enough to share, although we don’t know why you’d start making poor decisions now.

**Thursday only. Three for $6.05.**

Available in the shop while supplies last.

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

10/02/2026

**Today only: Three Sausage Rolls for $6.05.**

Why $6.05?

Because $6 seemed too orderly, and apparently we are now charging by whatever number wanders into our heads.

Three warm, flaky, pork-packed Sausage Rolls. Enough for lunch. Possibly enough to share, although we don’t know why you’d start making poor decisions now.

**Thursday only. Three for $6.05.**

Available in the shop while supplies last.

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

10/02/2026

**THE GRAY HOUSE GAZETTE**

*Keeping Cleveland Questionably Informed Since 2004*

# PUMPKIN SEASON IS HERE.

You know what this means.

For the next two months, America will require **pumpkin in absolutely everything.**

Pumpkin coffee.
Pumpkin b**r.
Pumpkin cereal.
Pumpkin bagels.
Pumpkin cream cheese.
Pumpkin yogurt.
Pumpkin oatmeal.
Pumpkin pancakes.
Pumpkin waffles.
Pumpkin donuts.
Pumpkin cookies.
Pumpkin cheesecake.
Pumpkin ice cream.
Pumpkin hummus.
Pumpkin salsa.
Pumpkin pasta sauce.
Pumpkin ravioli.
Pumpkin potato chips.
Pumpkin pretzels.
Pumpkin popcorn.
Pumpkin protein powder.
Pumpkin dog treats.
Pumpkin candles.
Pumpkin soap.
Pumpkin shampoo.
Pumpkin deodorant.
Pumpkin lip balm.
Pumpkin air freshener.

We assume somewhere in America there is already a product called **Pumpkin Spice Windshield Washer Fluid**, formulated to give your car that warm autumn feeling while removing dead insects.

At Gray House, we're showing considerably more restraint.

So far.

# # # PUMPKIN PIE

The original. Pumpkin's legitimate reason for becoming famous in the first place.

# # # PUMPKIN BREAD

Also perfectly reasonable. We checked.

# # # PUMPKIN PASTRY CREAM

This is where things begin to drift slightly.

All three are now appearing at Gray House in **limited quantities.** We're easing into pumpkin season rather than immediately converting the building into a giant orange squash.

Grab some while they're here.

And while you're doing that, you may notice something else happening tonight.

# # # PIZZA FRIDAY. 5–7 PM.

This has absolutely nothing to do with pumpkins.

We just needed a segue.

Preorder your Detroit-style pizzas now, then grab some pumpkin stuff when you pick them up tonight.

Pizza for dinner.

Pumpkin for dessert.

**Fall has apparently been handled.**

[ORDER ONLINE — Gray House Pies](grayhousepies.com?utm_source=chatgpt.com)

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

09/29/2026

Are you on the GOOEY BUTTER CAKE band wagon???

How about a FREE slice this WEDNESDAY??
Huh, you don't even know what Gooey Butter Cake is?!?
Oh no!

Gooey Butter Cake: the uproarious rockstar of American desserts, flaunting its sumptuous audacity like a dessert daredevil. Imagine a sugar-coated pillow fight between clouds and rainbows, with a gooey wrestling match in the center. It's the dessert that turned gooeyness into an art form, leaving taste buds swooning like teenage fans at a pop concert. This confectionery diva has a gravitational pull stronger than a black hole of yumminess, with fans declaring it the official currency of dessert utopia. So addictive, it should come with a warning label: "Caution - may induce uncontrollable cravings and enthusiastic air guitar solos."

A little over the top? Maybe. Maybe not!
Anyway, enjoy a free slice with any $10 purchase THIS WEDNESDAY ONLY (and only if you mention this message - only people in 'our circle'
get FREE GOOEY CAKE.)
(blah blah blah 'legal' stuff; not available with any other promotion, discount or giveaway)

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

09/29/2026

**THE GRAY HOUSE GAZETTE**
*Keeping Cleveland Questionably Informed Since 2004*

# WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH ALL THAT MONEY?

A year or two ago, as a public service, we began advising $5 Tuesday customers on what they could do with all the money they were saving at Gray House.

People have been reaching out ever since to tell us how helpful this was.

Actually, that's not true.

But nobody specifically asked us to stop.

Back then, we explored such sound financial decisions as **used jet skis** and **travel to places you probably didn't need to go.**

Today, **Gray House Financial Services** returns.

Buy stuff on $5 Tuesday. Save $5 here. Save $5 there. Buy enough stuff and suddenly you're sitting on a small fortune.

The only responsible question is:

# # # WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH IT?

**SAVE $5**
Buy a $5 lottery ticket.
Convert your guaranteed $5 into a probable $0.

**SAVE $20**
Buy a used bowling ball from a stranger.

You don't bowl.

That's what makes it an investment.

**SAVE $35**
Purchase approximately seven minutes of professional plumbing.

**SAVE $50**
Go on Facebook Marketplace and type **“project.”**

Your afternoon is now spoken for.

**SAVE $75**
Buy a very small piece of art from somebody whose work will become enormously valuable immediately after you sell it at a garage sale.

**SAVE $100**
Make an irresponsibly confident sports bet based entirely on the color of the uniforms.

**SAVE $200**
Buy enough lumber to begin a project.

Not finish it.

**SAVE $300**
Put some diesel in the truck.

**SAVE $500**
Acquire a used kayak despite having no immediate plans involving water.

So don't think of $5 Tuesday as a sale.

Think of it as **wealth creation with pie.**

The more you buy, the more you save.

And the more you save, the more questionable financial decisions you can make somewhere else.

# # # $5 TUESDAY IS TODAY.

**COME GET RICH.**

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

09/29/2026

Subject: $5 TUESDAY: FINANCIAL PLANNING RETURNS

THE GRAY HOUSE GAZETTE
Keeping Cleveland Questionably Informed Since 2004

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH ALL THAT MONEY?

A year or two ago, as a public service, we began advising $5 Tuesday customers on what they could do with all the money they were saving at Gray House.

People have been reaching out ever since to tell us how helpful this was.

Actually, that’s not true.

But nobody specifically asked us to stop.

Back then, we explored such sound financial decisions as used jet skis and travel to places you probably didn’t need to go.

Today, Gray House Financial Services returns.

Buy stuff on $5 Tuesday. Save $5 here. Save $5 there. Buy enough stuff and suddenly you’re sitting on a small fortune.

The only responsible question is:

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH IT?

SAVE $5
Buy a $5 lottery ticket.
Convert your guaranteed $5 into a probable $0.

SAVE $20
Buy a used bowling ball from a stranger.

You don’t bowl.

That’s what makes it an investment.

SAVE $35
Purchase approximately seven minutes of professional plumbing.

SAVE $50
Go on Facebook Marketplace and type “project.”

Your afternoon is now spoken for.

SAVE $75
Buy a very small piece of art from somebody whose work will become enormously valuable immediately after you sell it at a garage sale.

SAVE $100
Make an irresponsibly confident sports bet based entirely on the color of the uniforms.

SAVE $200
Buy enough lumber to begin a project.

Not finish it.

SAVE $300
Put some diesel in the truck.

SAVE $500
Acquire a used kayak despite having no immediate plans involving water.

So don’t think of $5 Tuesday as a sale.

Think of it as wealth creation with pie.

The more you buy, the more you save.

And the more you save, the more questionable financial decisions you can make somewhere else.

$5 TUESDAY IS TODAY.

COME GET RICH. 26075 Detroit Rd. Westlake - 1/4 mile West of Columbia Rd

09/25/2026

****

**THE GRAY HOUSE GAZETTE**
*Keeping Cleveland Questionably Informed Since 2004*

# IT ALL STARTS AT 5.

Pizza Friday is here.

And tonight we finally unleash the newest member of our increasingly unruly Detroit pizza family:

# # # PHILLY CHEESESTEAK.

Shaved beef. Cheese. Peppers and onions. Thick, airy Detroit crust. Crispy caramelized cheese edges.

It's a cheesesteak.

It's a Detroit pizza.

Philadelphia and Detroit were not consulted.

**Pizza starts at 4.**

Order online now or just walk in and make decisions when you get here.

[ORDER PIZZA — Gray House Pies]

**GET IN HERE.**

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!

09/24/2026

**Today only: Three Sausage Rolls for $6.05.**

Why $6.05?

Because $6 seemed too orderly, and apparently we are now charging by whatever number wanders into our heads.

Three warm, flaky, pork-packed Sausage Rolls. Enough for lunch. Possibly enough to share, although we don’t know why you’d start making poor decisions now.

**Thursday only. Three for $6.05.**

Available in the shop while supplies last.

Click here for an update from Gray House Pies!