07/11/2026
Things I will never do as a baker-
Bake cake so dry it needs to be doused with sugar water to be moist.
Bake in deep pans, then slice it into layers. That's a recipe for a dry cake that needs sugar water to keep it from choking someone. Once the "crust" of a layer is removed, it starts drying out at high speed.
Name my sourdough starter. If I did, it would probably be something obscene like Well You As***le or Raggedy Bitch. Nobody wants that.
Charge an unreasonably high price for a cake just because "people are paying for your talent". Talent can't be chewed, has no flavor and will not fill up a tummy. And for the folks who feel like they're not getting quality unless they're paying $250 for a 6-inch cake... you've got more money than good sense.
Be a measurement N**i. Whether one uses cups or weights to measure? Cool. You can end up with fabulous product measuring both ways. I can't stand someone who says you HAVE to measure a certain way or even worse, "you HAVE to mix" a certain way. I've added things one at a time and I've dumped it all in all at once. I've creamed butter and sugar and reverse creamed flour and sugar. The end result is the same, I don't care what Martha Stewart goes on about "the crumb".
Even attempt to make cake that is gluten free, sugar free AND vegan, all at the same time. That's a cardboard box waiting to be made.
And finally, I will never say "It has to be done this way (or with this brand ingredient) because it's the only way.".