Resuscitate Me Coffee

05/12/2026

Heads up, Troy. ⚰️☕🎓

Resuscitate Me Coffee will be closing early at 6 PM on Thursday, May 21 so our team can celebrate the Troy High School Class of 2026. Graduation begins that evening at UMHB, and we want to cheer on the seniors crossing the stage into the next chapter of chaos. (ths.troyisd.org)

So grab your caffeine resurrection early, hug your favorite graduate, and go make some memories.

To the Class of 2026:
You survived the group projects, the alarms, the deadlines, and whatever mystery meat the cafeteria was serving.

Mort is proud of you.
(Which is honestly terrifying.)

Congratulations, graduates. 🖤
Death can wait. Tonight we celebrate.

05/11/2026

05/10/2026

Happy Mother’s Day from your local caffeine dealer and part-time emotional support reaper.

Today we celebrate the moms running on love, chaos, iced coffee, and approximately 14% patience.
The moms waking up before everyone else.
The moms holding everything together with caffeine and pure survival instinct.
The bonus moms. The grieving moms. The dog moms. The exhausted moms. The “don’t talk to me until coffee” moms.

Mort sees you.
Mort respects you.
Mort recommends an extra shot today.

Whether you’re spending the day relaxing… or breaking up sibling cage matches in the living room… you deserve something good.

Come let us resuscitate you. ☕💐

Happy Mother’s Day from all of us at Resuscitate Me Coffee.
Death can wait. Moms deserve coffee first.

05/09/2026

Our point of sales system is having a seizure. We are still open but can only accept Venmo and Cash. Online ordering is not working either. Sorry for the inconvenience!

05/08/2026

💀 Mort’s Advice of the Day — Friday 💀

“Finish the week proud… not just relieved.”

You made it this far, mortal. End strong. ☕️ ~Mort 🖤

05/08/2026

Rosetta, our awesome roaster is looking goood this morning!

05/05/2026

Baby Barista and Mort teamed up to bring you your Advice for today!

05/05/2026

shop

05/04/2026

MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU.
But let’s be honest…
you’re not surviving today without help.

Choose your fate:

🔴 Red Refresher
Watermelon • Berry • Lime
→ chaotic. bright. dangerously refreshing.

🔵 Blue Refresher
Blue Raspberry • Lime • Coconut
→ cool. smooth. suspiciously powerful.

No coffee.
No crash.
Just straight-up revival energy.

⚡ Add Lotus Energy for a clean caffeine boost.

Mort says:
“The force won’t save you… but this will.”

👉 Available now at Resuscitate Me Coffee
👉 Pick your side. Start a rivalry.

05/04/2026

Mort in the corner judging me. 👀
They say I can’t cry over spilt milk but how about split beans?!? 😭😭😭

05/02/2026

🌸 RMC Mother’s Day Gift Post (Mort Voice)

She kept you alive.
Barely… but still counts.

This Mother’s Day, skip the last-minute panic flowers and give her something that actually revives her soul.

☕ Coffee (because she raised you… she’s tired)
🕯️ Candle (for peace, patience… and surviving you)
🌸 Flowers (because she deserves something that doesn’t talk back)

The Mother’s Day Ritual Bundle is here.
Built for the ones who held it together… when everything else fell apart.

Bring her in.
Or grab it and deliver it like the favorite child you claim to be.

💀 Mort approved.
💐 Mom guarantee