10/09/2026
🚨 BREAKING NEWS OUT OF STURTEVANT 🚨
Local fish have reportedly begun swimming in fear after learning it’s FRIDAY.
Authorities say Junction Pub & Grill is once again responsible for the mysterious disappearance of hundreds of their friends and family members.
One surviving fish was quoted saying, “I told Gary not to go near the damn tartar sauce.”
🐟 FRIDAY FISH FRY AT JUNCTION! 🐟
The fish are crispy. The drinks are cold. The tartar sauce has no remorse.
Come hungry. Leave full. Don’t ask about Gary.
📍 Junction Pub & Grill