08/13/2026
We owe another local business a genuine apology.
What started as one dumb burger joke somehow turned into theft allegations, a price war, missile references, international bread tensions, and Craig being promoted to a position he is absolutely not qualified to hold.
To be clear: **nobody stole anything from us.** There is a very real chance we “invented” the Ogdensburger by accidentally recreating something 400 other restaurants have already made.
Meanwhile, the owners’ kids are over there maintaining better foreign relations than we are because, according to them, they have:
**“the best coloring books”**
**“the best chocolate milk”**
and **lasagna soup** (probably not getting the recipe now, kid)
So while the adults were busy creating the **Ogdensburg Culinary Cold War**, the children had already negotiated peace through dairy products and crayons.
We apologized directly and genuinely got this one wrong.
We’re also **not deleting the original post**, because frankly we deserve to leave it up as evidence.
A warning to future generations.
A digital historical marker that reads:
**“Here stood several adults with Wi-Fi and no supervision.”**
Effective immediately, Corner Deli management will be implementing a strict new communications policy involving proofreading, waiting five minutes, and asking ourselves:
**“Does this thought actually need to become public?”**
Early projections are not promising.
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