08/15/2025
🌹 Tainted Roses Trauma Series, Day 4 - Anxious Attachment in Action
At Tainted Roses, we don’t just talk about the trauma we acknowledge the triggers and behavior responses and provide alternative, healthier ways to react.
Our founder, Zakiya Muhammad, is both a Behavior Specialist and Trauma Coach, uniquely combining her skills to not only identify these responses but help you counteract them in real time.
10 Triggers & Common Responses
1️⃣ Trigger: Partner doesn’t text back quickly
Response: Feeling abandoned or panicking
2️⃣ Trigger: Friend cancels plans
Response: Believing they no longer care about you
3️⃣ Trigger: Partner seems distant one day
Response: Overanalyzing every detail of recent interactions
4️⃣ Trigger: Someone sets a boundary
Response: Feeling rejected or unwanted
5️⃣ Trigger: Partner asks for space
Response: Trying to “fix” the relationship immediately, over-contacting them
6️⃣ Trigger: Seeing someone engage with others more than you
Response: Comparing yourself, feeling less important
7️⃣ Trigger: Delay in hearing back after sharing something emotional
Response: Thinking you said something wrong, regretting your openness
8️⃣ Trigger: Not being included in a group event
Response: Assuming you’re disliked or no longer valued
9️⃣ Trigger: Minor conflict or disagreement
Response: Fearing it means the relationship will end
🔟 Trigger: Partner/friend is busy
Response: Taking it personally and feeling unloved
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10 Alternative Responses to Try
✅ Take a deep breath before reacting to a delay in communication
✅ Journal your feelings before reaching out impulsively
✅ Remind yourself one canceled plan doesn’t erase the entire relationship
✅ Acknowledge that boundaries can be healthy, not rejection
✅ Practice self-soothing techniques like grounding exercises
✅ Focus on your own activities when others need space
✅ Challenge comparison thoughts with affirmations of self-worth
✅ Use “fact checking” - what evidence supports the fear?
✅ Reframe busyness as a neutral fact, not a personal slight
✅ Engage in hobbies or communities that bring joy and connection
📖 Recommended Read:
• How to Heal an Anxious Attachment Style
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-heal-an-anxious-attachment-style-8643714
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment by Prioritizing Your Own Needs
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_heal_anxious_attachment_by_prioritizing_your_own_needs
🌹 Your healing starts with awareness!!! Let’s build the tools to respond differently. 🌹