The View at Skipjack

06/17/2026

Oh, the irony.

McDonald’s announces they’re bringing back the fried apple pie after 34 years and I got excited for a minute.

I thought maybe the headline was going to be:

“We’re bringing back beef tallow.”

Or…

“We’re simplifying our ingredient lists.”

Or…

“We’re making food sound like food again.”

Nope.

It’s the fried apple pie.

Which, to be fair, is probably the most American thing they’ve done in years. 🇺🇸🥧

But then I started looking at the ingredients.

The current apple pie contains:

🍎 Apples
🌾 Enriched flour
🍬 Sugar
🌴 Palm oil
💧 Water
🍏 Apple juice concentrate
🧪 Modified food starch
🧪 Invert syrup
🧪 Sunflower lecithin
🧪 L-cysteine
🧪 Yeast extract
🧪 Enzymes
🧪 Beta-carotene

And a few other friends that sound less like pie ingredients and more like a lineup opening for Metallica.

Meanwhile, I’m over here living in my little beef tallow bubble pretending food should mostly contain ingredients your grandmother would recognize without needing Google, a chemistry textbook, or a translator.

Don’t get me wrong…

I’d probably still eat the pie.

I’m just gonna read the ingredient list first and wonder how we got from:

🍎 Apples
🌾 Flour
🧈 Fat
🍬 Sugar
🥧 Pie

to whatever the hell happened in between.

Call me crazy, but I don’t think humans got healthier by replacing traditional fats with industrial seed oils and then acting shocked when waistlines, inflammation, and autoimmune issues started climbing.

But hey… what do I know?

I’ll just be over here frying things in beef tallow and minding my business. 🍟🥩

Carry on, America.🇺🇸

“There are certain things that just take you back!"

Read much more about the beloved dessert: https://fox8.com/news/mcdonalds-bringing-back-fried-apple-pie-for-a-limited-time/

06/17/2026

People ask me all the time why I post so much.

Simple.

When life hands you this much material, it’d be a crime not to share it.

Most people go through their day and see traffic, contractors, customers, wing bones, tractors, dishwashers, oysters, and random chaos.

My brain turns all of that into a Facebook post.

Case in point…

Here I am, finally getting two uninterrupted minutes to shower, shave, and pretend I’ve got my life together.

And this dude…

Just laying there.

Staring.

Judging.

Not blinking.

Not helping.

Just conducting a full performance review of my naked ass from the bathroom floor.

The look on his face says it all:

“Ma’am, I’m going to need to supervise this entire operation.”

Mix that with a personality that has never met an inside thought it didn’t want to share, a brain that refuses to shut off, and enough projects going on at once to make a sane person cry, and here we are.

Some people have hobbies.

Apparently mine is turning daily disasters into entertainment for the internet.

And let’s be honest, I’ve probably confused the algorithms more than Elon Musk at this point.

So if you’re wondering why there’s another post…

It’s because something ridiculous happened, and unfortunately for all of you, I was there to witness it.

And apparently so was Buoy.

He has now appointed himself Head of Bathroom Security, Shower Quality Control Inspector, and Director of Personal Privacy Violations.

Benefits include unlimited supervision opportunities and front-row access to things he absolutely did not need to see.

Welcome to my life.

This is why there’s always another Facebook post.

06/16/2026

🌮🍻 Tuesdays Cruise Day and $10 Tapas

So cruise on in with your:

🚗 Hot cars
🏎️ Hot rods
🛻 Hot trucks
🦆 Hot Jeeps
💪 Hot bods
🚤 Hot boats

…and if none of those apply, just bring your appetite.

This week’s lineup:

🦪 Clam Strip Po’ Boy
Golden fried clam strips piled onto a toasted roll with lettuce, tomato… all the things that make life worth living.

🥢 Korean Meatballs
Back for one day only, just for Ricky. We know how much he likes his balls. Sweet, savory, sticky, and covered in sauce just the way he likes ’em.🤣

🧀 Big Ole Cheesy Mozz Sticks
Because sometimes the answer to life’s problems is fried cheese.

🌮 Brisket Tacos
Slow-smoked brisket tucked into warm tortillas and loaded with flavor.

All tapas are just $10 each. While they last!!!

Come hungry. Bring friends. Order one of everything and pretend you’re “just sampling.”

📍 The ViEW at Skipjack Cove
🌅 Waterfront views
🍻 Full bar
🚫 No reservations — first come, first served

And Ricky…

Your balls are waiting. 🍽️ 😬

06/16/2026

⚓ Love where ya live…

Even if it’s only on the weekends … in the summertime.

There’s still time to become a slip holder at Skipjack Cove and spend your summers where the sunsets are better, the drinks are colder, and the commute is by boat.

🦀 Slip Holder Appreciation Crab Feast
📅 Saturday, June 20 | 12 PM–5 PM

Already a slip holder? We’ll see you at the party.

Thinking about becoming one? What are you waiting for??!?!

🦀 Slip Holder Appreciation Crab Feast 🦀

This one is for YOU. Join us Saturday, June 20th from 12 PM–5 PM as we celebrate our incredible slip holder community with an afternoon of crabs, cold drinks, family fun, and waterfront memories.

Fresh crabs from Harris Seafood Company will be cooked on-site and served hot until they’re gone. Each slip holder will receive two complimentary drink tickets redeemable at The View Restaurant (see Zac during the event). We’ll also have an inflatable waterslide, a “Dunk a Dad” dunk tank for Father’s Day Weekend, and plenty of opportunities to relax and enjoy the marina with friends and family.

⚠️ Reservation required. Please RSVP with the marina office.

Thank you for being part of the Skipjack Cove family. We can’t wait to celebrate with you!

06/16/2026

Whilst my husband is snoring away, apparently I’m exhausting and have worn him out😬, I just logged in and saw that we have officially exceeded
🎉 3,000 followers.

Which proves one of two things:

1. My jokes are better than my kids think. 🤡🤣

Or

2. Y’all are just here to watch the train wreck. 🚂💥

Either way, thanks for following along. We appreciate every one of you. ❤️

06/16/2026

🚨 FATHER’S DAY 🚨

Originally, we were going to do an All-You-Can-Eat Crab Buffet.

Then I called our favorite seafood guys at 410 Seafood.

The conversation went something like this:

“Val… what the f*** are you thinking?”

“It’s Father’s Day. One of the busiest crab request days of the year.”

“We’d love to help you, but we’re not nearly as dumb or crazy as you are when it comes to overextending ourselves.”

And honestly… fair. 🦀

So we scrapped the buffet idea.

Besides…

We all know Dad’s probably footing the bill anyway.

Yeah, I said it.

Call me sexist.

I really don’t give a 💩.

And because Dad’s wallet has already suffered enough this year between boat parts, lawn equipment, bait, gas, Amazon purchases nobody can explain, and whatever project is currently sitting half-finished in the garage…

We wanted to keep things simple.

No overpriced $50 buffet.

No fighting over the last crab leg.

No standing in line wondering if you’ll ever make it back to your table.

Just burgers.

And beer.

The way the Founding Fathers probably intended.

And because burgers and beer are better with good music…

🎶 Braeden Means Music will be live from 5 PM - 8 PM 🎶

So Dad can enjoy a burger, a cold beer, some live music, and at least a few hours where nobody asks him to fix anything.

And as always, our full regular menu will be available.

And if Dad’s not feeling burgers and instead wants a Juicy Ass Steak, we’ve got that.

If he’s a Lump-Licious Crab Steak kind of fella, we’ve got that too.

If he’s the guy who says, “I don’t care where we eat,” and then vetoes every suggestion for 45 minutes…

We’ve got something for him too.

Mostly patience. 😆

So without further ado…

🍔 FATHER’S DAY BURGER SPECIALS

THE NEW BALANCE CLASSIC
Cheddar, lettuce, tomato, onion & pickles.Just like Dad. Reliable. Predictable. Still works.

THE LAWN MOWER LEGEND
American cheese, FOUR strips of bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion & pickles.Powered entirely by bacon and unsolicited advice.

THE REMOTE CONTROL KINGPepper jack, grilled onions, bacon, lettuce, tomato & BBQ ranch.No one knows how he got control of every remote in the house, but here we are.

THE BOAT PAYMENT
Provolone, avocado, bacon, chipotle mayo, lettuce, tomato & onion.A luxury purchase that seemed like a good idea at the time.

THE “DON’T TELL MOM”
Queso fresco, grilled jalapeños & onions, avocado, cilantro aioli, lettuce & tomato.The burger equivalent of Dad letting you do something he absolutely wasn’t supposed to.

THE SASSAFRAS STACHE
Swiss cheese, sautéed mushrooms, grilled onions, lettuce & tomato.Strong mustache energy. Even if Dad can’t actually grow one.

THE GRILL MASTER GENERAL
Goat cheese, bacon habanero pepper jam, crispy onions & bacon.Because every dad believes he is one propane tank away from becoming a celebrity chef.

All burgers come with house-made chips, or upgrade your side.

🥒 Pickle on a Stick🍟 House-Cut Fries🍠 Sweet Potato Fries🧅 Onion Rings🥗 Side Salad

Sub chicken for beef at no extra charge.

So here’s the plan:

Bring Dad.

Feed Dad.

Buy Dad a beer.

Maybe even foot the bill for once.

Dad spent years paying for your food, your sports, your hobbies, your field trips, your gas money, your emergency gas money, and the emergency gas money after that.

Buy the man a burger.

And speaking of Dad…

👇 DROP YOUR BEST DAD JOKE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW 👇

The joke with the most likes wins absolutely nothing of monetary value…

But you will earn the highest honor a dad can achieve:

🏆 Bragging rights.

Happy Father’s Day from all of us at The View at Skipjack.

Now quit overthinking it and bring Dad out for burgers, beer, and live music. 🍔🍺🎶

Disclaimer: Before anybody says anything... yes, the burger graphic is AI-generated. I am fully aware some of these burgers appear to contain ingredients not currently recognized by modern science. I am not responsible for what AI thinks a mushroom, onion ring, or pickle should look like. If you don't like it, keep scrolling because I really don't give a rat's ass. 😘

06/16/2026

She’s not an angler…

She’s a stacker.

And honestly, it doesn’t matter which angle you look at her from.

Front side.
Back side.
Left side.
Right side.
Standing up.
Sitting down.
Squinting.
Wearing sunglasses.

She looks absolutely delicious from every direction.

🔥 Crispy fried fish
🌽 Edamame corn succotash
🥔 Fried Potato Cake
🤤 House-made sauces
🌱 Microgreens on top because apparently we’re classy now

Introducing our Fried Fish Stack.

It’s the kind of meal that makes you stare at it for 30 seconds before taking a picture… and then immediately destroy it before anyone else at the table asks for a bite.

Yum. Yum.

(And no, sharing is not required. In fact, we strongly support selfish behavior when this hits the table.)

06/15/2026

🚨 LINE COOKS WANTED 🚨

We’re offering a $1,000 BONUS after 90 days.

The requirements are pretty simple:

✅ Show up for your scheduled shifts.

✅ Show up on time.

✅ Show up sober and not under the influence. (Crazy concept, I know.)

✅ Show up ready to work.

✅ Show up ready to clean, cook, hustle, and be part of a team.

✅ Show up with an attitude that’s ready to roll and maybe even have a little fun while making money.

What we’re NOT looking for:

❌ People who think every shift is a personal attack.

❌ Professional excuse makers.

❌ Folks who text 20 minutes before an interview asking “Where’s the interview” followed by that 👇malarkey🙄

❌ People whom inhale more ni****ne than oxygen which apparently requires 97 smoke breaks in a 60 minute timeframe 🚭

❌ People who need a participation trophy for unloading a box.

❌ Anyone whose favorite hobby is complaining about work while avoiding it.

We’re looking for old-school work ethic. The kind where you show up, work hard, take pride in what you do, bust each other’s chops a little, laugh a lot, and go home knowing you earned your paycheck.

If your ears are tender, your feelings are fragile, or accountability isn’t your thing, we’re probably not your people.

If you’re dependable, hardworking, and want to work alongside some pretty awesome humans, we’d love to meet you.

Apply today.

The $1,000 bonus is waiting.

06/15/2026

People keep messaging me asking where today’s Wing Night post is.

Well… here you go.

You wanted a Wing Night post.

You got a wing bone post.

Technically that’s two posts in one, so I think Facebook should be thrilled.

Anyway…

🍍🌶️ Pineapple Jalapeño is the flavor of the day.

🍗 $1 Wing Night starts now.

If your wing bones don’t look like this when you’re done, did you even Wing Night?

See you soon.

Now like this POST!!!

06/15/2026

LOST & needs to be FOUND!

No, we’re not talking about the earrings that lost their soulmate while the body they were attached to was busy searching for theirs.

IFKYK. 😳🤣

We’re talking about the growing collection of abandoned outerwear that has apparently chosen to retire at The View.

Somewhere among the pile is:

🧥 A Helly Hansen raincoat
🦺 An L.L. Bean puffer vest
👖 A Walmart jean jacket
🤷‍♀️ And several other items whose owners have apparently accepted their fate and moved on with life.

Listen… I understand that when “It’s Gettin’ Hot in Here” comes through the speakers some of y’all take that as a legally binding instruction.

And when “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off” comes on, a few of you seem committed to scientific research.

But how in the name of Jimmy Buffett are y’all leaving without your coats?

It’s June.

You intentionally brought the coat.

You arrived wearing it.
You sat in it.
You ate in it.
You paid your bill in it.

Then at some point your brain said:

“You know what? I never really liked that jacket anyway.”

At this rate I’m going to have enough inventory to open a pop-up thrift store called:

The ViEW’s Witness Protection Program for Forgotten Clothing.

The problem is these coats and jackets have now expanded their territory and are beginning to encroach on valuable food storage real estate.

I have enough problems without a rogue puffer vest trying to become Assistant Kitchen Manager.

So if you’re missing a jacket, vest, raincoat, hoodie, quarter-zip, or anything else that covers your torso…

📸 Send us a picture through Messenger and let’s see if we can reunite these long-lost mates with their humans.

Otherwise, I’m about three forgotten jackets away from assigning them employee numbers, putting them on the schedule, and seeing if they can work a Saturday night shift.

Sincerely,

Management from the increasingly crowded Island of Misfit Outerwear