01/31/2019
HOWDY!!... You're RIGHT, David Hall... And Here's My BEST MOONSHINE NON-STORY......
In Our Senior Year At McGill High School In Mobile, Me And My Friends Bob Matthews & Tommy Langan Were Deciding Where We Were Going To College. Among The Various College Catalogs I Received Was One For "Alabama College At Montevallo". (Now Named Montevaallo University). The School Had Previously Been "Alabama Women's College And Had Only Been C0-Ed For 2 Years. The Student Ratio Was 7 To 1 Women To Men!!! I showed TheCatalog To Bob And Tommy And We All Agreed THAT Was The Place For Us!
Lots Of Stories About My College Days.. But This One Is About Moonshine So I'll Cut To The Chase. Montevallo Is In Shelby County Which At That Time Was "DRY" - No Legal Alcohol Sales. We Usually Drove To Birmingham In Adjoining Jefferson County On Friday Afternoon To Stock Up On Liquor For The Weekend. Alabama Only Sells Alcohol Through State Operated Liquor Stores That Close Early- Even On Friday. This Particular Weekend, We Ran Late And Did Not Have Time To Get There Before It Closed. This Was Bad Timing! The College Had Severe Restrictions On Co-Eds. They Could Not Go To An Off-Campus Residence Unless It Was The Home Of A Professor, Or A Married Couple, Or A Place Of Business. This Made It Hard To Get To A "Party Place". So A Friend Of Ours, Joe Ricketts Had An Idea. He Was An Art Major And A Damned Good Artist. Joe Rented An Old Chicken Roost-Yep A Chicken Roost-In The Back Of A Residence Close To Campus. It Was One Large Room About The Size Of A Large Living Room And Covered Up In Chicken Dung. Joe Enlisted A Few Of Us To Clean It Up & Paint The Inside Walls. He Had An Electrician Re-Wire The Incubator Electricity For Overhead And Wall Lighting. Next, He Took Some Of His And Other Art Students Paintings And Hung Them Around The Walls With Prices On Them. Then He Got A Business License From The City For "THE CHICKEN SHACK ART GALLERY" Making It A LEGAL Place For Co-Eds To Be! His Hours Were Thurs. Through Saturday 5 Till 11 P.M. Or By APpointment!.
The Gallery Had Only Been Open A Few Weekends And There Was A Big "ART SHOW" Planned For That Friday Night- And Us With No Alclhol!
Well, We KnewSome Of The "Townies" Who Lived In Montevallo And Went To The College Might Know Where We Could Find Something To Drink. We Talked To 2 Of Them Who Said They Could Take Us To Get Some MOONSHINE! That Was Our Best Bet, So We Loaded Up In Bob's Car,Me And Bob, My Roommate Harper Badelly (Read Harper Badass), And The 2 Town Boys And Headed For The Country. When We Got To The HouseThat Sold The "Shine" We Checked It Out For "Beads".( When You Shake The Jar,The More Beads That Come To The Top Of The Liquid The Higher The Alcohol Content! ) Welll This Stuff had Great Beads So We Bought What We Needed For The Night And Headed Back To Campus. Right After Buying The Moonshine, We Came To A Little Country Store We Had Passed On Our Way Out. We Stopped And Bought Some Canned Fruit Juice And Soft Drinks For Mixers And Chasers. I Bought An "Upper 10" - Kind Of Like A Larger Version Of 7-Up. The Town Boys Started Saying They Didn't Think Us City Boys Could Handle The Moonshine. I Had Had Moonshine Before Back In Mobile, So This Was Not My First Rodeo. I Bragged About It Not Being A Problem For Me, And Proceeded To Drink The Entire Pint I Had Bought And Chased It With The Upper 10!
I Impressed The Town Boys And Quickly Got So Drunk I Was Asking Them To Take Me Back To Buy Another Pint!...They Didn't And We Went On To The 'Art Show".
As The Alcohol Worked Through My Metabolism And Into My Bloodstream,I Got MUCH Drunker. I Was Basicaly Just Another "Work Of Art" At The Gallery. I Needed To P*e, So I Asked Harper To Help Me Out The Back Door To The Bathroom-The Backyard! When We Got Outside, I Said "Harper, Turn On The Lights-I Can't See To P*e" He Said "Oh My God, Joey (My Nickname) All The Lights Are On- That Moonshine's Made You Blind!" There Were No Lights-It Was Pitch-Black But I Was In No Shape Shape To Realize Any Of That. Harper Picked Up A Stick For Me To Use As A Cane And We Went Back Inside! Even Though The Lights Were On Inside, My Muddled Brain Still Thought I Was Blind And I Went Around The Room Telling That To Everyone. They All Got A Laugh out Of It But The Story Got Old And I Went Into A Stuper By The Front door. Nobody Noticed As I Went Out The Door Crawled Down The Stepsand Crawled Out Into The Middle Of The Street Before Passing Out! Another Friend Drove Down The Street coming To the Art show And Braked His Car Just Before running Over Me. He Went Inside, Got Harper and A Few Others. They Loaded Me Into His Car, Carried Me Into The Communal Shower At Our Dorm, Stretched Me out Under 3 Showerheads and Turned On The Cold Water!
That's Where I Still Was When I Woke Up About 7 a.m. Saturday With People Taking showers Around Me. I Walked/ Stumbled To My Room And Fell Into My Bed Still In My Wet Clothes. I Woke Up Around 5 P.m. Saturday Afternoon With The WORST Headache Of My Life-Before Or Since! It Took Till About Monday Morning To Really Get Back From Drunk, But Boy... I REALLY SHOWED THOSE "TOWNIES"!!!
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July 3, 2016 ·
11Marlea Hardin, Debbie Fox and 9 others
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Pat McCracken
Pat McCracken And that is the reason I don't get drunk anymore. Can't handle that hangover anymore.
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Lynsae Harkins
Lynsae Harkins LOL
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Malcolm Hare
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Roy Phelps
January 27 at 7:11 PM
12Shelby McClellan Hough, Clyde Buck and 10 others
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Clyde Buck
Clyde Buck Yes !
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Charlene Smith
Charlene Smith YES
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Elden Byrd
Elden Byrd They must be held accountable.
They are guilty of treason and the evidence is plentiful.
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Malcolm Hare
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