Tremont Scoops

09/17/2021

Our Latest News

Sup people. This is it. Three more shifts and Scoops is closed. I had a lot of fun, made some new friends, and managed to not have a boss for another nine years.

I am not sure what is going to happen with this newsletter moving forward. Fo-show I am going to take a few weeks/months off unless something cool happens. Something cool could be a new Scoops in Lakewood or just an update on my vintage gym bag collection. Whooooooo knows. Either way, you opted into all of this nonsense so you CAN-SPAM kiss my ass and unsub anytime. I am going to miss all your angry or appreciative replies to this newsletter. I had a lot of fun. 😘 One Love. -Paul

Tremont Scoops Year Ended Performance

Important Ice Cream News

Yo yo yo, we are out of here.

Sunday at 9pm is the final hour of the final season.

Links

T-Pain: NPR Music Tiny Desk Concert (https://youtu.be/CIjXUg1s5gc)

If you were like me you thought "T-Pain, he ruined music with autotune but that Live Your Life song with Rihanna was pretty good". Well, it turns out we were completely wrong. We were thinking of T.I. and Rihanna. (https://youtu.be/koVHN6eO4Xg) Also, Cher's producer on Ray Of Light (William Orbit) is responsible for 20+ years of s**tty autotune songs. I learned all of this by watching This is Pop on Netflix. After you listen to T-Pain lay down this amazing autotuneless version (https://youtu.be/CIjXUg1s5gc) of Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin') go watch the first three episodes of This is Pop (https://www.netflix.com/title/81050786) . You will not be disappointed.

15 Skyscrapers In China Were Just Demolished (https://twitter.com/Jon_Hartley_/status/1438053907909857282)

I haven't seen this many things go down since the time I went to Deagan's family reunion and met his 15 sisters.

This Saxophone Performance At The BBC (https://www.reddit.com/r/nextf**kinglevel/comments/ppf562/this_saxophone_performance_at_bbc/)

At some point this year I told you that I played the saxophone for a year and a half. Remember that story? I made a reed last 18 months and Shannon B almost threw a tittay in my hand? Sound familiar? Anywho, this guy is what I would have become if I had saxed up and stuck with it.

Photo Of The Sphinx In The Late 1800s (https://www.reddit.com/r/HistoryPorn/comments/pobhlj/photo_of_the_sphinx_in_the_late_1800s_1018x767/)

How cool is this? To begin with, it is an ariel photo from the mid-1800s. Did you know that the ariel in ariel photography had to wait for the photography part to catch up? Yup, manned balloons (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montgolfier_brothers) first took off from France in the late 1700s. Photography didn't really get going until the 1850s.

Side note: What is up with the hole on top of the head? And the paws are still buried in the sands. And this kitty had a bit of a badonk-a-donk. So cool. This all makes me want to go watch Raiders of the Lost Ark. Throw me the idol; I’ll throw you the whip!

Have a good weekend. One Love!

Click here for an update from TREMONT SCOOPS!

09/10/2021

We have been getting a lot of calls at the shop asking who ya gotta blow to get Pumpkin Pecan Pie Ice Cream. I looked into it and what you are purposing is super illegal. Please stop. Anyone that wants to trade CASH or a CREDIT CARD for a scoop is welcome to stop into the shop today starting at 5pm. Pumpkin Roll Ice Cream also came in today. I haven't tried it, but it can not be bad. One love - Paul

09/10/2021

Yo yo yo!! Tomorrow from noon until 4pm Urban Sweetness will be having one of her super duper Plant-Based Burger Patty Extravaganzas! If you haven't been to one of these you are in for a treat. And IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT, pair it with a Vegan Cookies n Cream Milkshake. You won't. It would be too much to handle. Do it. Dare you......

09/10/2021

Our Latest News

Sup people. Big week. I killed another plant. This one was a pineapple tree. It was a just-fineapple tree until it ran into me. *Oh Dad🙄*
Anyways, tonight is D&D night and I am thrilled to report that Royhorn the Great is now a 5th level gnome illusionist. They grow up so fast. If anyone sees a 3rd level fireball go off out in Euclid tonight, don't be alarmed.

Tremont Scoops Weekly Performance

Important Ice Cream News

The Tremont FIRE! sale lasted about 7 minutes. Some lady from MooooooTown Creamery stopped in and bought everything that wasn't bolted down. She went full American Pickers on my ass. Said "meet me in the middle" at least twice and I think we did a bundle deal. It all happened so fast.

Links

This Fascinating Artwork By Fabio Gomes Trindade (https://www.boredpanda.com/street-art-women-portraits-hair-trees-fabio-gomes-trindade)

Two years ago I went to Shoreditch in London and now I think I am the world's foremost expert on Banksy, Broccoli Man (https://www.shoreditchstreetarttours.co.uk/adrian-boswell-is-shoreditchs-broccoli-man/) , and a bunch of other gritty outdoor art stuff. It takes anyone about three questions to figure out I don't know what I am talking about. Lucky for me it doesn't take a monthly subscription to Juxtapoz to know that this outdoor tree art is popping off! (But it helps, and I have a subscription. Ask me about it. And of course, I saw where Exit Through The Gift Shop (https://youtu.be/oHJBdDSTbLw) was headed waaaay before it was over!)

Martin Couney Never Held A Medical License But Saved More Than 7,000 Premature Babies Over The Course Of His Lifetime By Exhibiting Them In Incubators At His Coney Island Sideshow. (https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasf**k/comments/pkhhz7/martin_couney_never_held_a_medical_license_but/)

Sorry for the long-ass title but it pulls you into this cra-cra statement I am about to make. Did you know that as late as the 1940s your best bet as the parent of a premature infant was to take it to a sideshow? I am not joking. There is a whole 99% Invisible (https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/the-infantorium/) podcast about it so it is true.

A Look At The Grateful Dead's Wall of Sound (https://web.archive.org/web/20101124025134/http://www.audiojunkies.com/blog/730/an-insiders-look-at-the-grateful-deads-wall-of-sound)

In the summer of 1995 Pot-Scott, Hippy-Chip, Virginia, and I went to Three Rivers Stadium to see the Grateful Dead. We took parking lot acid, danced in the rain, and I think Scott drove home. On that day, I had no idea who the Dead were or that Jerry Garcia would be dead in a month. This goes to show you, you don't need to know s**t to enjoy s**t. I am sure if I knew about this Wall of Sound from the 1974 tour I would have been talking everyone's ear off and our whole trip would have suffered.

Fly Geyser (https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/fly-ranch-geyser)

A century ago a collision of human error and natural geothermal pressure created this rainbow-colored geologic wonder. If you ever find yourself in Gerlach, Nevada take a look!

Have a good weekend. One Love!

Click here for an update from TREMONT SCOOPS!

09/04/2021

We had a few dogs emailing this week asking when the Aspen's Canine Creamery dog ice cream was going to be back in stock. Tell those mutts to get their paws off your keyboard and up to the shop. New pints and singles just showed up!

09/03/2021

Our Latest News

Sup people. I wish I could say that your Mom and I were down on the panhandle all summer but things got a little cra-cra over the last three months and I had to do some honest work around the shop. Thank Tempus that is over and I can get back to obsessing over adult BMX bikes and whether or not they will really name Fast & the Furious 10 "Fast 10: Your Seat Belts".

Tremont Scoops YTD Performance

Important Ice Cream News

You may have seen over on The Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/TremontScoops/posts/4817187184985193) where I semi-professionally announced that we sold 2362 Professor Ave. That means no more Tremont Scoops. I will miss it, but nine seasons is pretty good. The Duke Boys were only good for 6 seasons* and they are well remembered😬. The last day is September 19th. After that, we have about 30 days to G**O, so if you see anything at the shop you want please assume it is for sale.

*Of course, I subtracted 12 Coy and Vance months

Links

SR-71 Blackbird Speed Check (https://youtu.be/8AyHH9G9et0)

The SR-71 Blackbird is the most ridiculous vehicle ever created. This sled was developed and first flew in the 50s. Since then ZERO planes that can fly faster and ZERO planes that can fly higher have come into production. They say this bitch will go 2685mph and hit 100,000ft. And when I say they I mean guys like Major Brian Shul. He has the best story about what real speed is.

Grace And Creepiness In A Dance Performance (https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasf**k/comments/pehc2u/combining_grace_and_creepiness_in_a_dance/)

I would not throw this arachnohoe out of bed for eating flies, but there would be some discussion around the 6-month mark to the effect of "knock the spider thing off".

On Marajo Island In Brazil Police Officers Patrol The Streets On Buffalos. (https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasf**k/comments/pdjht3/on_marajo_island_in_brazil_police_officers_patrol/)

This may not come as a surprise to some but I have fallen off a few cows in my day. It usually happened so fast that I can't say that I have ever "ridden" a cow. I not saying all cops are heroes, but these two certainly are.

Danny Hart's World Championship Winning Downhill Run at Champery (https://youtu.be/EqYgAX6D43Q)

The year is 2011. Noooooobody in cycling knows or cares who Danny Hart is yet. The championship day dawns and it is a downpour. The course goes from world-class hard to unpassable hard. People are not even finishing the course. Pre-race favorite Aaron Gwinn crashes TWICE in one run. Then Danny Hart peddles up to the line and puts down a run for the ages. How does he ride his bike with balls that BIG?

Have a good weekend. One Love!

Click here for an update from TREMONT SCOOPS!

08/31/2021

Hey Tremont. The rumors are true. A guy that lives down the street made us a smoking offer on 2362 Professor Ave and the building is no longer ours. The plan is to close down on September 19th and pack up the coolers. No more Tremont Scoops.

The last nine seasons have gone by in a flash. What started off as six friends from Twitter who didn't know s**t about ice cream has slowly become an ex-husband and wife buddy comedy team who kind of knows s**t about ice cream. Ann and I (and Nikki, Adam, Ron, and Ryan) created a ton of great memories and most importantly gave 30+ knucklehead teenagers a chance at their first job. I like to think we created a place where they could make mistakes, show up almost on time and grow into better adults. Yeah making money is great, but making great people is where it is at. If you ever worked for us. Thank you.

Ok, that is about it. Ann is going to take a well-deserved rest from me asking why a Tremont scoops jet-ski isn't "advertising". Me, I think I may do something with ice cream over in Lakewood.

Once again Sunday, September 19th is it. Please stop in before then to get one last pint or take a few pictures on the swings!

One love ya all

Paul & Ann

08/23/2021

Sup people. Vegan Cookies N Cream is back. Thank God. Despite what you have heard we do not hate Oreos, money or your happiness. There was a soy milk* shortage a the North Royalton ice cream factory and it has been on backorder since July. We are all good now and open at 5pm today!

*Go milk a soy bean teat and tell me how that goes for you. It isn't milk. It is nut juice at best. (Paul, let it go)

08/04/2021

**OPEN HOUSE THIS SATURDAY FROM 11AM - NOON**

Full details and a butt-ton of more pics:
https://cleveland.craigslist.org/apa/d/cleveland-bedroom-in-the-heart-of/7360518346.html

One love

07/10/2021

7/10/21 - The shop will open tonight at 5PM.

We will be back to normal and open on Sunday at noon.

07/05/2021

Sorry, we have to close the shop tonight(7/5/21) because we don't have enough people to work. If you want a job, please call or text Paul at 330-554-1503

06/25/2021

Our Latest News

Sup people. The summer is in full swing and I feel great. Some random dude on the street told me my new Nike Daybreaks (https://www.flightclub.com/daybreak-type-what-the-cz8654-164) were hot fire and I haven't fallen off my paddleboard since Sunday. Suck it last summer, this summer in my new bae.

Tremont Scoops Weekly Performance

Important Ice Cream News

The Scratch N Win contest went over swimmingly last week. Thank you soooo much to the Apple Corporation for agreeing to team up. Our big winner was Danielle M from Cleveland! And before you ask it is not the Danielle from the Dr Phil show. I asked. I asked twice just to make sure.

Links

Winnebago Man (https://youtu.be/zSWUWPx2VeQ)

Back in 2006 when we had the mortgage company Mitch and I were sure of three things. Taking morning key bumps off your AMEX card was safer than coffee, home values would rise for infinity and this was the funniest video ever discovered.

Unbelievable Camouflage - Vietnam (https://www.reddit.com/r/nextf**kinglevel/comments/o75h76/unbelievable_camouflage_vietnam/)

I always think I would have done ok in Nam. I travel well, I look good with a gun, high and tight hair, check. But Charlie popping out of spider holes while I am thinking about Maryjane Rottencrotch (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbUXrF_OLmc) back in Newcomerstown is not my cup of loose leaf Vietnamese tea.

Hand Hutting The Ridge Of A Metal Roof (https://www.reddit.com/r/nextf**kinglevel/comments/o6tdyn/hand_cutting_the_ridge_of_a_metal_roof/)

If any of you have ever used a set of left-handed tin snips(you haven't) you would know how incredibly difficult what this guy is doing(it is a guy). And Dad if you are reading this(you aren't) I don't want to hear they are really right-handed tin snips(they may be).

A Theme Park 400 Feet Underground In One Of The Oldest Salt Mines Ever (https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/salina-turda)

I love watching people sweat out the Mountain Dew at Cedar Point as much as the next judgy ex-pudgy guy, but what if the sun didn't have to beat down on all those neck-rolls all day? Here is your answer, right in the heart of Romania.

One Love!

Click here for an update from TREMONT SCOOPS!