Fat Guy Food Critic

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05/23/2026

Today’s review is of 1819 The Restaurant in Lawrenceburg TN.
First time visiting-nice location in town square of a small town. As you walk in there was a woman playing a Casio piano. Seating was nice-comfortable chairs-kind of gave the ambiance of a 1940s upscale restaurant.
The crowd outside wasn’t accurate as we were seated immediately. Jaden was our server-fast, polite and knew the menu well. She gets 5 ⭐️.
Fried mushrooms were good. Grilled shrimp was good. Brussels sprouts were meh. Kind of had a metallic taste-more on that later. Fried Cod had a heavy breading. Fish rather tasteless.

Did you know old Navy cannonballs were made of iron?

Now back to that metallic taste. Totally makes sense because them hush puppies with the fish-I’m pretty sure the Spanish armada fired them as cannon balls in 1819. Was there a war in 1819? If so-these definitely were used as cannon balls fired at a ship. I walked in weighing 225 and after taking a bite I tipped the scale at my old fighting weight of 260.

They were out of the peanut butter cake(80% the reason we chose this joint).

I knew I should’ve chosen long John silvers.
All in all-1819 gets 3 ⭐️.
Round shot-broadside mate!!

02/06/2026

Buonasera a tutti!

For those less fluent in foreign language’s -that’s Good evening folks in Italian!
Tonight’s review is We Love Emilia-Authentic Italian Dining

As you walk in-or slide in-cause there’s still ice everywhere-it’s not as you’d expect. Kind of reminiscent of another Italian place, Fazolis.
Order at the counter-grab a bottled drink from the cooler-fast food-ish at best. However-although the food WAS lightning fast-it sure wasn’t fast food. The fella with the hipster wave haircut sure was nice. Kinda reminded me of a skinny-dark haired Johnny Bravo. He explained everything-the menu is a little hard to understand unless you’re from Italy-very courteous and friendly. Seat yourself-but prepare yourself some olive oil and add Italian seasonings per your taste buds. A basket of focaccia bread is brought to your table. Excellent stuff.
We ordered a cheese pizza-and I had the Lasagna della Nonna. Even had real glass plates and metal forks! I can’t speak for the pizza other than the crust I tasted-which was very good-but the fancy named Lasagna was quite possibly some of the best I’ve ever had. This wasn’t frozen Stouffers for sure. Excellent balance of lasagna noodles-meat sauce and cheese. A decent sized portion-and I couldn’t eat it all. I saw some of the other dishes and salads being prepared and they looked delicious with big portions.
Will I return? Sì, lo farò(that’s yes I will, for you non refined palate folks).
Imma give this place a rare
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️. Yep. 5 whole stars.
Go see these folks. I’d sure hate for them to not make it-and you won’t be disappointed!

Così buono!!!!

12/24/2025

Wendy’s on Madison Street Clarksville

About 6 months ago I visited Wendy. Ordered a Jr bacon cheeseburger and a bacon and cheddar potato. Now granted I’m getting older and don’t like change-but I had to order at their self serve kiosk. I didn’t like it one bit. I’m not that technically unsaavy but that thing was a pain in the ass. Didn’t even print a receipt-but the screen said “Thanks Jose”. Wayadamn minute. How’d it know my name? After waiting for some looked to be 12 year old to call my name-he asks me if I want to sub something for my potato. What? No. “We’re out”. Why didn’t the screen tell me? I done got duped by the red haired freckly girl!

Fast forward 3 months-same order but opted to avoid the self serve 78” screen and hit the drive thru. “Do you have any potato’s”? A mumble from the other end of the voice box. “Yea”. Ok. “ I’ll have the bacon and cheddar baked potato, and a junior bacon cheeseburger.” I got home with my grub, open my potato. There was no cheese. No bacon. Just a potato staring back at me. But it was covered in some slop they call chili. I scraped the chili off and ate part of the potato, but vowed never to return because you know screw me once shame on you. Screw me twice shame on me.

But I digress, here tonight I wind up at Wendy’s cause it’s a fuster cluck of a day and order my usual. I have to fight that damn kiosk again. Get to the counter to pick up my food and lo and behold-“sir we’re outta potatoes-it’ll be about 15 minutes”.
Now I’m sure you’ve seen a Christmas Story where Ralphy is helping his pops change a tire and he kicks over the lug nuts. And the infamous “F” word that gets his mouth washed out with soap and he goes blind.
I’m pretty sure that kid heard words he’s never heard of. The mother of all bad words with 72 adjectives inserted into strategic places.
I vow-I will never eat at this damn place again. Ever. I’m done. They top the list over the hairy cafe.

ZERO ⭐️

02/23/2025

Old Glory Distilling Restaurant-
Ain’t no glory in this dump!!
Party of 6 which included 2 kids. We were sat in a barrel, which was kinda cool. That was the only upside. Adults had a burger, prime rib, salmon, and shrimp tacos. 🤮
Burger was ok but this had been substituted cause they were out of pulled pork-yet they had kids pulled pork available? Anyway-the broccoli casserole that accompanied the prime rib was literally like chewing toothpicks. They should have saved those toothpicks so the person who ordered the tacos could get the hair out of their teeth!! Yes! You heard it right-Hairy Tacos-they were sent back but more on than later. The salmon seemed to be ok-other than it decided to make a very early exit. We will now call it screaming shi**s Salmon. Something wasn’t quite right with it. We ordered desserts for the kids-but part of the party had to leave due to the shi**y salmon. So if you see a brown trail near exit 4-avoid it. During all this chaos-the check came and I only looked at the total. That’s my fault. I was the only one left waiting on the check and my card to come back cause everyone else was either sick of hair-or the bubble guts. When I went to sign-wait-I’m being charged for 2 orders of tacos??? I looked for our server-to no avail. I went to the bar to ask for a manger. Once he did come out-and I was explaining our situation-the server appears and blurts out “I fixed it”. Fixed what? She knew i was charged twice for hair and was ok me leaving like that? Wait a minute-how did you fix it? My card was already processed! Oh-I just ran your card again and I’ll get a credit done. Wait-so you ran my card TWICE now?? How’d you do that without my card present? I told them this was bullsh** and I’d never be back.
Now I’ve got 2 charges on my card, no credit, I now have the exploding butt syndrome-and I just saw a hazmat team cleaning the roads near exit 4.
0 ⭐️.
Old Glory-Ha!! This place is a dump.

01/25/2024

Today’s review is Dos Margaritas Mexican restaurant on Madison Street in Clarksville.

We were sat quickly and offered a chunky, bland salsa. Drinks followed suit quickly as well as our order of chicken fajitas and a shredded beef chimichanga.

I’ll make this short and sweet.
My first bite of fajitas had a soured taste. Kinda ruined it for me right there. The rice was good.

As we were paying, we noticed a very active small child in a stroller with a party of 6 or 7 people. Very active. As I looked closer-the child was very hairy. Now I didn’t have my glasses on, but I can spot a Pomeranian from across a room. This was a damn dog in the restaurant. Yes- a dog in a stroller. It wasn’t a service dog.
Needless to say, if a restaurant allows dogs at the table, then they’ll allow anything in the kitchen.
The food wasn’t fit for a dog-or was it???
0 ⭐️

07/31/2023

Long time no see folks-life has just gotten in the way of being timely.

Todays review is of Strawberry Alley. Not like the alley you’d find a dumpster in-but that’s where this place belongs. A rare party of 10, but we were seated quickly with no waiting. The waitress, Alyssa was quick to take our drink orders, and that’s where things started getting lost in transition.
I ordered the cheeseburger, but bacon Mac and cheese, salmon, fried fish and 3 kids meals were all ordered too. The kids burger buns were huge-and disappointment followed once we saw the actual meat. Looked like someone forgot how to use a spatula to pick up the patty-it was in pieces. Sweet potato fries were apparently not entered with the order, and excuses were made towards the kitchen being backed up-yet “leftover” fries were brought to the table when asked about.
Bottom line-food was mediocre at best. $200 for the meal was quite expensive for the taste and service.
1 ⭐️
Strawberry Alley is exactly that, an Alley.

06/09/2023

Ok folks, I’ve been down the past couple months with gallbladder removal-so I had to lay off the good stuff. But todays Fat Guy review is…….
The Cumberland Grill . It’s a far cry from the old Madison street location-up highway 12, in a hole in the wall building. Walk in, it looks like rough cut pine siding on the walls, with what appears to be someone locals’ artwork. Not bad. One of the pictures reminded me of a Kenny Chesney album cover.
So-we sat down and had to move because the AC ducting was dripping water all over our table-but it was humid and things happen. The menu is small, but straight and to the point.
Ordered a hamburger steak-with onions. Baked potato and green beans. It’s kinda hard to mess that up-and they didn’t. Good sized portions-the green beans were off the chain. Also had ordered some fried mushrooms(did I mention gallbladder issues are probably caused from a poor diet and fried foods?) and those were good too. The lemonade is a “light” lemonade which wasn’t the best, but the waitress was great and offered to swap it out for something else.
I’ll be trying their breakfast soon, because places like this are a dying breed, not unlike my gallbladder, and their breakfasts are usually the bomb diggity.

4 ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️.

01/17/2023

El Rancho Grand-Hwy 76 in Clarksville
3 ⭐️

Last minute dinner with family-El Rancho was close so they drew the short straw tonight. Carlos H was quick to bring tortilla chips and the most boring, blandest salsa I’ve had. This fat guy had to kick it up a notch by adding some of that green hot sauce. Sure it had more kick, but still lacked flavoring.
We had the Pollo Feliz, grilled chicken stuffed burrito(they upcharged $1 for grilled chicken vs shredded chicken), burrito California, and I had the Santa Fe chicken. I knew my chicken was from Santa Fe, because it was dry as the desert. Thankfully they smothered it in white cheese sauce and enough sautéed red bell peppers that it looked like a Valentines Day dish. I know they were sautéed in plenty of oil because it mixed so well with the cheese sauce it looked like a Picasso. The rice and beans were-well, you really can’t mess those up I don’t think. I’ve had multiple visits here where the food is ok, but it’s like they have toned down the seasoning since opening. Maybe there’s a shortage of Adobo-who knows. Either way, if you are looking for a quick dinner-this is your place I guess. If you are looking for authentic, well seasoned Mexican food-Taco Bell may be a better choice.
On another note-the grease mixed with the cheese will keep you from getting constipated. I guess that’s the Oil of Ole.
Meal for 6, $110.

01/14/2023

Tonight’s review is of P’Bodys at the Clarksville
Country Club-Fairway Drive in Clarksville.
First of all-I’m pretty sure the residents of Fairway Drive just imagined the calm, serene traffic on their street at the Clarksville Country Club when they shelled out large amounts of money to live on a golf course. Enter P’ Body’s Restaurant-coming in like a wrecking ball. Gone are the days of the hoity toity lounging drinking their Manhattans. Imagine Rodney Dangerfield in Caddy Shack.
As you enter the country club, the table to your right contains brochures to join the club. For a mere $2000 initiation fee and $400 a month-you can join. No thanks, I’m just here to see what this banana puddin’ is all about.
I can’t imagine the wear and tear at this country club-just imagine being in the same place as the judge who threw your mama in jail last Christmas.
The waiting area was about as cold as my freezer, but luckily for a table for 3-being crowded for a Friday night was only about 20 minutes. After being seated-Amanda my server was quick to take a drink order and offer appetizers and some homemade potato chips.

After ordering, as I sat arguing with a 9 year old about condensation-the appetizer arrived and meal orders were taken. Barely had time to finish my salad and my meal arrived. Opted for Chicken Florentine over a bed of brown rice with green beans as a side. Also ordered was a 8oz sirloin. Both were cooked to perfection, medium rare and the chicken breast was moist. Very good food. Guess that’s what you get eating with the rich and famous. But here’s the catch-it’s casual dining- nurses in their work scrubs-some dressed as a business casual-and me in my camouflage overalls-no one was out of place. Dinner for 3 set me back $100 with a tip-all a fair price for good food and service. I did have to ask for a refill on my drink, but hey-they were busy! Dammit! I forgot to order the banana pudding- so another trip is in order. Maybe next time I’ll wear my tuxedo themed thong.

01/13/2023

Tonight’s review is Kori Fusion Sushi, Hwy 76 in Clarksville. The place was relatively clean and a decent crowd. Tara was our server-and she was spot on all night. She brought menus but I noticed at each table on the wall-they have a QR code posted to look at their menu. I ain’t doing that! I want a menu in my hand. But if you want accurate pricing maybe you should use the QR code because between the 3 menus-2 had the same prices and 1 showed higher prices. So which was right?? Not that I could use the QR code because the cell phone service has gotten so crappy it probably wouldn’t have pulled up anyways.
Back to the food-the cowboy and caterpillar rolls were good, and the egg drop and miso soup was good too. Shrimp fried rice was good-not over cooked.
Meal for 3 with drinks set me back $62 without the tip. Again-service was good-food was good-menus are crap. Get it straight Kori Fusion-you’re gonna p**s off a Karen and Keith Bassett will kick you out of Clarksville Chat.

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