05/11/2026
there is no moment where i question whether or not i’m potentially autistic than when someone asks me ‘what’s the best one?’ panic and consternation fill me up to my ears. you’ve not given me any metrics on your definition of ‘the best.’ there’s a book of over 400 flavors in my head but only space for 20 pans of gelato at a time; what if ‘the best’ isn’t available that day? i can tell you which are the ones we sell the most of but that’s not a strong argument because some specialty flavors disappear before they are in the case. also you didn’t ask for my cv of flavors. what if you can’t trust me because i put ketchup on omelettes and come from a hellman’s family?
were it not cost-prohibitive and, i suppose, stickily unethical, i’d put folks needing to align with a homogenized perspective in a functional mri machine so we can see together which flavors actually light them up. be curious! it’s a frozen treat, the least serious caloric thing. you can trust me to put care and intention into every pan. but for the love of the divine, i don’t want to serve you ‘the best one.’ i want to serve you *your* best one, on that day, in that moment, of that season.
monday and splendy’s is closed. hope to see you at little market at lampo tomorrow.
