28/07/2026
Attention: Coffee Addicts & Food Lovers!
Robert Harris Lincoln Cafe is Hiring
Robert Harris Lincoln Cafe - a mysterious Cafe fueled by caffeine and powered by good vibes - is officially sending out a distress signal to Earthlings! We’re not hiring employees; we’re recruiting “Happiness Partners.”
Our front of house needs charming chatterboxes with smiles sweeter than latte art.
Our back of house needs speed demons with a dangerous obsession for ingredients.
If your weekdays need caffeine and your weekends need... well, more caffeine and chaos, congratulations - you’ve already passed the first round!
What We’re Looking For
Time Management Wizards
Available weekdays AND weekends (don’t worry, we won’t take ALL your couch time - just most of it).
Food & Coffee Fanatics
You love food and coffee so deeply that you’d start a “friendly academic debate” over the perfect Basque cheesecake or a latte with failed art but perfect taste.
Team Glue
Our kitchen ovens and front espresso machines occasionally throw tantrums. We need team players who can help “soothe” them together.
Social Media Enthusiasts
If you can make the team especially Lee, the boss, look cinematic or turn kitchen chaos into viral content, you’re our “Social media Star” (follower may currently be low, but the potential is infinite).
What You’ll Get
Unlimited Free Coffee Until your hands shake.
Hilarious Teammates Who tell worse jokes than you.
Make Customers Cry With joy.
Social Media Fame Be our content creator!
Workplace Hazards
* The aroma of coffee may ruin all other beverages for you forever.
* Colleague jokes may be freezing - bring a winter coat.
* Customer compliments may inflate your ego (we provide free needles to pop it).
* No drawing the boss’s caricature in latte art - unless it’s really good.
So what are you waiting for? Stop scrolling!
Send your resume (and a heartfelt cover letter explaining why you’re perfect for us) to:
[email protected] (Don’t worry, real humans actually read these.)
Or just show up with your best smile and chat with us in person. We serve interview coffee - how bitter it is depends on your performance. 😜
