Cust Pub Memes

01/11/2026

4 te furst tym eva we got Frank Zappa n The Mothers of Invention plus Dexys Midnight Runners, too grate acts from oversees plus closer to home we got The House of Nimrod... so make sure yur at this weeks WENSDY NITE MEAT RAFFUL.. plus a speshil midnite perfurmince by Anaconda Bellydance wiv RedDress Ronda doin her "T-P Twirl"... adults only..🧻
-cum on eileen, cust mgmt

30/10/2026

sum shennaygins on teh pub floor last nite wen it wus hot n evryrun deciderd to shear theyr sheep or wateva woolly fings theyd brung down the pub wiv em.. debroleen askd ol dicky plunger if he culd shave her cat but he wus bizzy nursin a glarse of brandy n then miss brandy stroker came owtta the toylets n arskd if ennywun culd shave hers to
-woolly ideas frm cust mgmt

30/10/2026

𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗗𝗬 𝗥𝗨𝗚𝗚𝗕𝗬 𝗨𝗣𝗗𝗔𝗜𝗧: the bluddy BUS TO RUGBY is goin back 2 the boneyard for a midnite game tonite for HALLOWIENER, Cust Cavalry aggenst tha Ghouls from Gore.
Reverend "rev em up" randy weber wil b actin as rubgy ref + bus meckannic, n enny red cards he hands owt u go strait to the cust catacooms n yur lockd in thear wiv tha boney brigade til sunriz on mondy, ALRITE??
-dont worry abowt it, cust mgmt

𝑺𝑨𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑫𝒀 𝑹𝑼𝑩𝑮𝒀 𝑹𝑰𝒁𝒁𝑶𝑳𝑻𝑺
Cust Cavalry vs Balcairn Bastards 18-14
Swannynoer Swindlers vs Assburton Arsehols 17-9
Ohoeka Jokers vs Amburly Awfuls 9-4
Rangiyora Rapists vs Kieapoy Killas 20-18
Oxfurd Orangewtans vs Leefeld Lazyboys 16-3

𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗟 𝗙𝗔𝗡𝗞𝗦 𝗧𝗢 Cust anglickan church for lettin the homeside teem play aggenst balcearn on yur sematerry even tho its cunsiderd HOLLOWD GROWND n we fink 1 or 2 hedstones mitev got nockd ovar, woops... theyrl b fixd uprite aftur smoko on mondy,, so NO CURSES on owr boys alrite.? they r good rugby playas n they all drank prodijuss amownts of BOOZ beforr n duren theyr trip on the BUS TO RUBGY wiv a skulleton or too from tha BONEYARD fillin any emptee seats, hoo fu**in rah

-dont bone n groan, cust mgmt

30/10/2026

ennywun plannen on goin owt for a feed n a fiddle owt in the spooki bush up the back cuntry shuld b weery on halloweener nite tamorro nite, the Cust fool moon wil glo brite p**s yello n legund has it if u eet 1 peese elefunt fish n harf scoop chip unda the moon at 13 minits afta midnite then u get a vizzit from nun otha then Old Mate 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍.. he drags u n yur frends owt bayond the perrimeter, neva 2 b seen aggen... 😱 the only way to stop it is u must take yur pants of n frow yur hands in the ear if u c him cu**in,, skullytons hate bair legs thats y u neva see the boney bastards cumpeet in the ollimpic freestyal swimmin
>
𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗔𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦 𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗨 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗘𝗬 - 𝗗𝗨𝗭 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗥𝗘𝗚𝗘𝗪𝗟𝗔𝗥 𝗣𝗨𝗕 𝗚𝗥𝗨𝗕.
𝗡𝗢 𝗪𝗘 𝗗𝗢𝗡𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗩 𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗥 𝗦𝗔𝗪𝗦𝗘 𝗢𝗥 𝗔𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗢𝗟𝗜. -(𝗞𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘆)🖕🏼
>
-wuld u lyk to bone a frend, cust mgmt

28/10/2026

pickd up a droppd harf eetan pie of the floor n it dissintograted in my hand. fingas smell bad now
-wats for lunch? cust mgmt

27/10/2026

dont furget booz croozers its the WENSDY NITE MEAT RAFFEL tonite at 6:66 wiv Blak Sabbath n da Misfits ...plus u can win big MEAT, MEAT, MEAT
-pace yurself, cust mgmt

25/10/2026

its owr big halloweener speshil wensdy nite MEAT RAFFUL this week,, for th furst tym ever we got Black Sabbath plus the Misfits boff on theyr deybew toors fru Custland, also tommy has arranjd 4 sum acturs dressd as evil jaffa zombees to apeer duren the sho,. so id bring a chainj of pants if i werr u!!
-staind seats hide eezy in the dark, cust mgmt

24/10/2026

looks lyk owr humbel pubs made it intu the tabloyd rags aggen?
-slo newz day, cust mgmt

24/10/2026

𝙎𝘼𝙏𝙐𝙍𝘿𝙔 𝙍𝙐𝙂𝘽𝙔 𝙍𝙄𝙕𝙕𝙊𝙇𝙏𝙎

Cust Cavalry vs Kieapoy Killas 14-11
Ohoeka Jokers vs Leefeld Lazyboys 11-2
Rangiyora Rapists vs Belcairn Bastards 16-10
Swannynoer Swindlers vs Oxfurd Orangewtans 16-13
Assburton Arsehols vs Amburly Awfuls 12-8
Papanewi Pissheds vs Fernsyd Farters 15-7
Seftun Sh*theds vs Loburn Lackeys 14-15
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
SPESHIL FANKS to deans mum barbra for fillen evry1s watar bottels n givin the boys a oranj slise durin harftime n even tho harf of em dont hav enny frunt teef left it wus stil a nise gestur., cheers barbs
(They ewsully prefer b**r to watar tho.)

-as long as it wets yur froat, cust mgmt

22/10/2026

𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗬 𝗪𝗜𝗩 𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗗𝗢𝗚𝗦
(Poison Ivy - The Cramps) on her last vizzit to Cust wiv bandmate n huzbind Lux Interryor wen they playd the wensdy nite meat raffel, the rockerbelly n sycobilly duo werr kept well fed wiv plenti of pub grub. Lux riportedly lykd Krissys WORKS BURGAR n miss Ivy wus keen on owr massiv "LONGDOG" hoddog onna stik -weyyin as much as a 1 yeer old baby, Tommy rekkins- wich she jokenly referd to as "lyk a corndog but cornier, sumhow".. i dunno wot a corn dog is but it sownded kinda rood so dident wana arsk her in frunt of Lux. nice cuppel, hope they cm aggen soon,
-get on the stick n stay sick frm cust mgmt