The Fossil Thief

The Fossil Thief Digging deep into local brands to share the best in independent beer, coffee, wines, spirits and food.

£1 PINT FATHERS DAY DEALScientists have spent years trying to determine what makes dads happy and the results are finall...
18/06/2026

£1 PINT FATHERS DAY DEAL

Scientists have spent years trying to determine what makes dads happy and the results are finally in.

It’s meat.
It’s cheese.
It’s beer for a quid.

And preferably all three at the same time.

This Father’s Day, any dad buying an epic toastie can enjoy a pint of Beerbasol Lager or StaggerSaurus IPA for just £1.

If you haven’t tried these epic cheese feasts then this is the perfect time.

No bookings, no stress. Just rock up and get yourself something delicious in our stunning waterside location in Gunwharf Quays!

Whether he’s a brisket-loving barbecue dad, a blue cheese fanatic, or the sort of bloke who thinks every meal should contain enough cheese and meat to stop a small horse, we’ve got him covered.

Father’s Day is Sunday 21st June, so gather the family, grab a toastie and treat the man who’s spent the last 20 years saying “we’ve got food at home.”

Tag a dad who deserves a £1 pint... or one who definitely doesn’t.

NEW SUMMER OPENING HOURSWe’ve tweaked our hours a teensie bit as we look to bring in bookable evening events such as coc...
09/06/2026

NEW SUMMER OPENING HOURS
We’ve tweaked our hours a teensie bit as we look to bring in bookable evening events such as cocktail classes, sushi making, beer tastings and more.

We’re still open 7 days a week from 08:30 and late at weekends for those waterside sundowners.

Thanks for all your support!

☀️

THE BLUE TESTAMENTWe’ve got another toastie special on the menu and this one is loaded with enough Stilton to divide hou...
03/06/2026

THE BLUE TESTAMENT
We’ve got another toastie special on the menu and this one is loaded with enough Stilton to divide households, end friendships and start arguments.

Some will call it bold. Some will call it excessive. Some will take one bite and immediately begin speaking in tongues.

This is not a toastie for the weak. This is for the disciples of blue cheese. The congregation of funk.

Stuffed with our signature triple-cheese blend and an unrepentant amount of Stilton, The Blue Testament is rich, glorious and just a little bit controversial.

Available now from in the kitchens of

Introducing the POPE-ERONI.A sacred union of Ta’Martyr sauce, basil, oregano, mozzarella, cheddar and an absolutely irre...
02/06/2026

Introducing the POPE-ERONI.

A sacred union of Ta’Martyr sauce, basil, oregano, mozzarella, cheddar and an absolutely irresponsible amount of pepperoni. We’ve stuffed it inside the toastie, melted it through the middle and then thought, …you know what this needs?

More pepperoni.

This isn’t a pizza. It’s a religious toastie experience wrapped in sourdough (the hole-iest of bread) and blessed with enough cheese to have the Vatican asking questions.

Available now from in the kitchens of our humble The Fossil Thief.

CHURCHUR CHEESE OFFICIAL LAUNCHOur little cafe/taproom in comes alive in the sunshine and this weekend is shaping up to...
21/05/2026

CHURCHUR CHEESE OFFICIAL LAUNCH
Our little cafe/taproom in comes alive in the sunshine and this weekend is shaping up to be a blinder!

Perfect timing for the official launch then!

Who’s ready for mad cheese pulls, epic toasties, smokehouse meats, indulgent man n cheese, baked Camembert, whole burrata, cheesy tater tots and more?

18/05/2026

PORTSMOUTH… THE OOZE HAS ARRIVED.
(Tag the cheese addict in your life!!)

After an incredible 3-week trial run from the kitchens of The Fossil Thief, CHURCHUR CHEESE officially launches this Friday and we’re coming in ridiculously hot for the Gunwharf Quays Food Festival weekend.

Think insane triple cheese toasties, 48 hour smoked brisket melts, smoke pit gravy dunkers, filthy mac and cheese, loaded tater tots and the kind of cheese pulls that belong on your camera roll forever.

This is comfort food turned all the way up. Big flavours, proper smoked meats from Bear Bones BBQ Co, outrageous amounts of cheese and a menu built to ruin every boring sandwich you’ve ever eaten.

From Cheesus Crust to Meat Your Maker, every toastie is stacked, melted and dripping with chaos.

Launching Friday at The Fossil Thief.
Gunwharf Food Festival all weekend.
Come hungry.

MEAL DEAL ALERT!SWAP TESCO FOR AL FRESCOBaked and prepared fresh each day in our kitchen our Grab and Go baguettes are s...
17/05/2026

MEAL DEAL ALERT!
SWAP TESCO FOR AL FRESCO

Baked and prepared fresh each day in our kitchen our Grab and Go baguettes are stashed with the freshest ingredients from local butchers, bakers (no candlestick makers I’m afraid) and ingredients from other local suppliers.

Plus get a grab and go baguette, a packet of proper crisps and a soft drink for just £10.

Deal is open to everyone all day, every day subject to availability.

QUESADILLA WRAP TOASTIES ARE HERE!You can now get any of our ChurChur Cheese toasties as a quesadilla wrap.That means al...
06/05/2026

QUESADILLA WRAP TOASTIES ARE HERE!
You can now get any of our ChurChur Cheese toasties as a quesadilla wrap.

That means all the molten cheese, outrageous fillings and sinful satisfaction… with a little less carbs standing in the way.

Lighter? Technically.
Healthy? Well let’s not get carried away because one thing remains non-negotiable…

The cheese levels will still be absolutely biblical!

Available now at The Fossil Thief, Gunwharf Quays.

BRUNCH AT THE FOSSIL THIEFBreakfast doesn’t have to be about eggs you know!We’ve got a load of interesting options from ...
05/05/2026

BRUNCH AT THE FOSSIL THIEF
Breakfast doesn’t have to be about eggs you know!We’ve got a load of interesting options from fresh Smoked Salmon Bagels with perhaps a cheeky glass of Prosecco to a Thieves mega stack, pancakes or just a simple bacon bap and a mug of tea.

There’s something for everyone.

All brunch options served until midday. No need to book, just rock up 🙂

BECAUSE NO…Not all toasties are created equal!It’s been an incredible first weekend with oozing out of our Fossil Thief...
05/05/2026

BECAUSE NO…
Not all toasties are created equal!

It’s been an incredible first weekend with oozing out of our Fossil Thief kitchen. We’ve learned a lot and seen some very big cheesy grins on our customers faces when their toastie arrives.

As promised the menu will be growing little by little and from Thursday we will be offering our most requested item... HOLY SMOKE toasties loaded with slow cooked smoked Brisket & Pulled Pork from the legends Bear Bones BBQ Co. These meat & cheese feast toasties also come as standard with a big dipping pot of smoke house gravy for dunking.

Plus we also have some other delicious additions including THE TRINITY, a vegetarian triple combo of fresh basil pesto, sun blush tomatoes and burrata mozzarella with triple cheese blend and a pot of of sweet caramelised onion dipping chutney on the side.

If you’ve not tried these absolute monster toasties yet then you’re in for a treat, but be warned these oozing sourdough delights are devilishly addictive!

Address

Lock Keepers Cottage, Gunwharf Quays
Portsmouth
PO13FH

Opening Hours

Monday 8:30am - 8pm
Tuesday 8:30am - 8pm
Wednesday 8:30am - 8pm
Thursday 8:30am - 8pm
Friday 8:30am - 10pm
Saturday 8:30am - 10pm
Sunday 8:30am - 8pm

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