02/10/2026
Late into Wednesday night, the day after the night before, with Tuesday having passed and The American Bar Pub Quiz League of Champions Week 4 having culminated in a resounding victory for The Roy Walkers, the league leaders, Quizty Moore came into the bar with a bone to pick. They’ve been our runaway leaders, week after week claiming victory after victory, they are, without doubt, this season’s team to beat.
“Here,” they said, collectively, “You!”, in a chorus, “We’ve been sniffing glue under the York Street bridge all day and we got to talking and we don’t think it’s very fair that every week you do your smarmy little write up and not once have you bothered to talk about how utterly amazing we are compared to the rest of those braindead morons. We come here every week and absolutely smash this quiz of yours. You got the dribbling idiots in The Roy Walkers, and I Am Sh*t-For-Brains-icus, and don’t get us started on the rest of them…”
It did, dear reader, lead me to reflect. Perhaps I had, as they’d suggested, been dismissive of their accomplishments, their winnings having become so routine I’ve failed to grasp the gravity of their success. I had only one place to turn to for advice, resident Quiz Master Sticklebrick Hendrix.
“Nah, f**k ‘at,” he said, “I’ve seen this before. Couple of wins, few early triumphs and people start losing the run of themselves. We’ve all done it. Got cocky, started viewing ourselves through the imagined prism of who we want to be rather than the reality of who we are. Take those City Hall Street Preachers for example. Yeah, they might talk a good game about being a bastion of morality, but we all know they’re only out there on the street cause their wives left them and their kids stopped talking to them once it became clear they were nothing more than xenophobic bigots who lack the critical thinking skills to understand that Facebook isn’t a reliable news source. Winners win. Victory assures legacy, not a few sh*tty words written by some ar****le who got his English degree from a polytechnic, no offense."
None taken Sticklebrick Hendrix, none taken.
We’re back Tuesday for Week 5. Same time. Same place. Let the bad blood begin.