31/07/2024
Ten years ago today, at the young age of 52, Rose took the brave decision to stop palliative treatment. It was not improving her quality of life, in fact it was actually having a negative impact. The decision was entirely Rose's, she made it knowing she would have my full support with whatever she decided.
7 days later I was holding her hand, in the hospice where she wanted to die, as she took her last breath.
We were married for exactly 24 years 1 month, and together for 27 years.
When Rose was told that the cancer was terminal and that she only had a very short period of time left, after telling close friends and family, she set about arranging her own funeral, including writing invites to the service and wake. How many people can say that they have been invited to the funeral by the deceased.
Despite being very specific about what she wanted regarding the funeral, it did not meet with what her Mother, Brother and Sister-in-Law wanted, so they set about changing it. Family members, some of whom were so distant that I had never met, were invited to the funeral. The church service was changed beyond recognition, with the only item remaining being the hymn her mother had asked to be included.
Her sister-in-law was to deliver the Euology, on behalf of Rose's mother, up to the point we met, after which I would be speaking about our time together. NO, her sister-in-law, with her Mother's and Brother's agreement, spoke about Roses's whole life. The eulogy contained numerous factual inaccuracies concerning the time that we were together.
Rose was specific about bright colours at the funeral, Mother, Brother and Sister-in-Law, along with the distant relatives not invited by Rose, seemed to ignore this. No Flowers - ignored by Mother, Uncle, Brother. The flowers from her Brother were one of the worst floral tributes I have ever seen and were even sneeked into the church.
I miss Rose everyday. I will never stop living Rose,mshe brought so much happiness into my life and we had some amazing times together.
Is time a great healer - probably not when we were together for so long, as there are so many triggers to bring back memories, which will now only ever be memories.
If when reading this please remember that Funerals and Wakes are about the deceased, not about how you want to send them off. Disrespevting the deceased in the way Roses's mother, uncle, brother and sister-in-law did, is something i dont think van ever be forgiven.
