02/16/2021
Hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day and that you enjoyed our special packages!
Here is a little summary about the love and friendship holiday with a "cheeky" twist:
Be My "Vinegar" Valentine?
Love. Happiness. Companionship. As a whole, we seem to be captivated in pursuing these very human experiences. We snap up pleasures when we can, or more often than not, work tirelessly for them when fortune doesn't seem to smile on us; but as we've been designed with a deep need to love and be loved by others, it's no wonder these esteemed desires are sought after so relentlessly.
The fact that we have Valentines Day is a testimony to this very thing. While the legend of the martyr, Saint Valentinus and the undying love he had for his jailer's daughter may very well be completely fictitious (as there is no solid evidence to back up this claim), the story of how he secretly sent an eloquently worded love letter to his true love before he was executed has been romanticized throughout the centuries.
History has seen its fair share of the many customs and traditions dedicated to this holiday. However, the celebration of Valentines Day peaked during the Victorian era.
Displaying affection or expressing your true feelings about someone was not considered good form or decent manners. They had the idea that it's more important to put others at ease so it's best not to show what you're really feeling in order to keep things polite and civil - avoiding awkward tension was crucial. Because Victorian etiquette generally prevented the expression of thought and feeling, the Valentine card became a valuable and cherished commodity. It allowed people the freedom to share their true feelings with others while upholding their good manners. As a result, they put their "hearts" into creating these, often times, works of art. The more elaborate the card the more affection it would convey to the one who received it.
As the Valentine card became more popular, it was used by many as a sort of outlet for those pent-up feelings. This was a time to let someone that you knew know how you truly felt......... I'm not talking just about the warm and fuzzy feelings, but anything you wished to let out - good or bad.
These not-so-flattering cards were aptly named the "Vinegar" Valentine.
You could easily receive a Vinegar Valentine as you would one that was full of love and affection. While etiquette made no allowances for one to be rude or comment unkindly to another while in their presence, some felt that there were those in their lives who did not conform to their own expectations. These, clearly, had no inhibitions about sending this type of card (usually anonymously) pointing out what they didn't like about them (the beginnings of trolling-Victorian style). The next time their paths would cross, awkward tension would be what most would experience and would, in turn, make for an intolerable situation.
As the Valentine card was originally meant for expressing warmth and affection, this made the "Vinegar" Valentine exceptionally cruel. Telling a person directly about something they found obnoxious about them wasn't the way most went about it. There were, however, a few cards for those who cared not and wanted to be more blatant and forthright.
So without further ado here are some of the most cruel Vinegar Valentines I came across.......a word of caution, prepare yourself.
Here's a confidence booster to send to your wife on the one day dedicated to love and romance:
" My dear the truth alone I utter;
In saying you're as fat as butter;
Fat ladies I love so don't decline,
To be my charming Valentine"
Real charming dear....Feeling romantic yet?
Or if you had a love for music but had not the voice or the talent to express it in a pleasing way, be careful, your neighbour may just let you know.
You Are A Nerve-Destroyer.
"When a pig's getting slaughtered, the noise that it makes
Is sweeter by far than your trills and your shakes;
And the howling of cats in the backyard at night,
Compared with your singing's a dream of delight.
Your squalls and your bawls are such torture to hear,
A man almost wishes he had no ear:
If someone would choke you, and thus end their pain,
Hearty thanks from your poor distressed neighbours he'd gain."
Nice huh? This even puts Simon Cowell to shame!
How about one for a foolish acquaintance?
“You’re no man but a Baboon about town,
A more ignorant Monkey never was known,
In taverns can sit with a pot and a glass,
But open you’re mouth you’re worse than an Ass,
No woman of sense would take such a fool,
Only suited for a scullery maid’s tool
Besides your folly, the knavery you’ve got,
Shows you’re only rubbish fit to be shot.”
Yikes!!!
Here's rejection to the fullest:
"You're safely lodged upon the shelf
And there you'll be for life.
You do not like it much yourself
You'd rather be a wife.
But you are not the sort for me,
Or any other man,
So pray be reconciled to fate
It is the wisest plan."
I guess for some blackhearted man it just wasn't enough to politely reject an admirer, why not thoroughly annihilate all hope of happiness. Unbelievable!
The men weren't the only ones to send stinging rejection cards. This one's for the disguised "snake" in your life....
"I'm not attracted by your glitter.
For well I know how very bitter
My life would be, if I should take,
You for my spouse, a rattlesnake.
Oh no, I'd not accept the ring.
Or evermore 'twould prove a sting."
Talk about venomous!
Finally, for the grand finale, this next card is just the cherry on top. It's not out to expose an embarrassing character trait or point out an annoying flaw. Instead, it targets something one could hardly help...
"Your portrait, Sir! Examine well
Each interesting feature;
Did e're you see such an
Astounding hideous creature?".....what can you say to that?
When we think back to the time where gracious manners abounded and when it was a must for one to always "think the best" of another, we tend to romanticize it, seeing only a small part of the reality they dealt with on a day to day basis. While those who adhered to living with such social restrictions found that it did make socializing more pleasant for others in the moment, this became a sort of catalyst for spiteful ideas like the Vinegar Valentine to grow and nourish itself through an individual's feelings that had been allowed to fester.
Never before has there been a greater need to share your thoughts and feelings with the ones around you. Going through almost a year in this pandemic has made sure of that! So, spread a little love this Valentines and call up or video chat with someone who might be feeling a little lonely and encourage each other with good conversation.
