06/17/2026
☕ FRONT COUNTER RANT ☕
On the Matter of the Door
There exists a peculiar species of human that walks into an air-conditioned shop on a blistering summer day, opens the door, enters the building… and then simply continues on with their life.
The door remains wide open.
As though they have been personally appointed Minister of Outdoor Climate Control.
As though Lord Spillington and I have launched a charitable initiative to cool all of Nova Scotia one parking lot at a time.
The part that fascinates me most is the confidence.
Not a glance backward.
Not a flicker of concern.
Not even a momentary thought of, “Did I leave a giant opening in the wall behind me?”
No.
They stroll directly toward the tea wall as if doors naturally close themselves after serving their purpose.
Perhaps they assume we employ tiny Victorian butlers hidden in the walls whose sole responsibility is door management.
Sadly, we do not.
We have me.
Which means every fifteen minutes I launch myself over the counter like an aging gazelle with a mortgage, aggressively marching toward the entrance while muttering things that would concern my pastor.
The customer inevitably turns and witnesses me wrestling the door shut with all the grace and restraint of a woman on her final nerve.
“Oh!” they say.
Yes.
“Oh.”
Not to worry.
I have closed it.
Again.
At this point, I spend more time managing the front door than I do managing the business.
If this continues through tourist season, the obituary will simply read:
Lady Spillington. Survived by Lord Spillington. Defeated by a door.
Yours in ventilation-related exhaustion,
Lady Spillington