07/06/2026
Hey bi***es! 🫶🏻
Let’s talk pretzels 🥨
They come in many shapes and sizes.
1️⃣ The pretzel shaped pretzel. The OG, suitable for every occasion. Eaten by itself or with butter and some fu*****ds put Nutella on it too 😅
2️⃣ The Laugenbrötchen! A pretzel roll, round and scored in the traditional star on top. Perfect for a mad sandwich with salami, cheese and pickles 😍
3️⃣ The Laugenstange! A salty longish stick shape often served with cream cheese and fresh chives 🌿
4️⃣ The Käse-Schinkenstange! The godfather of pretzels, topped with cheese 🧀 and bacon 🥓 because we all know that everything tastes better with bacon and cheese 🤷🏼♀️
5️⃣ The Brezel Kastanien. Pretzel 🥨 bites that look like chestnuts 🌰 yep they actually do loo like chestnuts. Little bite size, perfect for grazing boards and lunchbox or just as a quick snack every time of the day 👌🏻
6️⃣ The Boobzels 🤔 Boobie shaped pretzel with crunchy ni***es. Invented by me a few years ago when I was raising money for the breast cancer foundation.
I gave some to my oncologist last year too lol 😂
7️⃣ The Dickzel 🍆🥨 ahhh yep, a dick shaped pretzel 🤩 Very popular with the ladies and any gay man that I know off. Great for hens parties or when you wanna shock your mother in law or p**s off your husband, just serve them a dick in a bag 😜
8️⃣ and then all other creations I have made… a rainbow 🌈 a jellyfish 🪼 a duck 🦆 a butterfly 🦋 a mushroom 🍄🟫 a middle finger 🖕🏻and lots of letters ABC and numbers 123 🤩
I love those special requests. I can really set my creativity free and go wild ❤️
So tell me, what’s your favorite shape?
Happy long weekend bi***es 🫶🏻
🇩🇪🥨👑 GBQ 👑🥨🇩🇪
