16/09/2026
Do you fart in bed?
If this story doesn’t make you cry laughing, let me know and I’ll pray for you.
A couple had been happily married for years — except for one thing.
Every single morning, the husband would let rip the kind of fart that could peel paint.
The noise woke his wife, the smell made her eyes water, and she’d beg him to stop.
He always said he couldn’t. “It’s natural!”
She always warned him, “One day you’ll blow your guts out.”
Years went by. The man kept trumpeting like a foghorn.
Then one Christmas morning, while preparing the turkey, the wife looked at the bowl of innards — neck, gizzard, liver, all the bits — and a wicked idea hit her.
She tiptoed upstairs, pulled back the covers, gently stretched the waistband of his undies…
and emptied the entire bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
A while later she heard the usual morning blast — followed by a blood‑curdling scream and frantic footsteps racing to the bathroom.
She collapsed on the floor laughing, tears streaming down her face.
After years of suffering, she finally got her revenge.
Twenty minutes later, the husband came downstairs in blood‑stained underpants, pale and shaking.
Trying not to burst out laughing, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
He said, “Honey… you were right. All these years you warned me, and I didn’t listen.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well… today it finally happened. I farted my guts out.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers…
I think I got most of them back in.
