11/01/2019
I can’t see a sunrise like this and believe the world is as bad as it feels right now. The man I planned on spending the rest of my life with was taken from us in a way that I still cannot understand. He was my everything. Kayden made life so much more, he made everything brighter, made it exciting and brought so much love. We weren’t perfect, in no way were we perfect but we’d finally gotten to the really good part; the peaceful happy. He was my best friend, even just retelling a story with him was a blast. If you’ve ever heard us tell our NY waiter story, or lake story, or Landen’s kinder cafe story, or really any story; then you know what I mean. I still can’t really wrap my head around this in any kind of way. It’s just so unreal. “He will he home any minute now, better leave the door unlocked”... thoughts like this still flood my mind daily. He won’t be home anytime soon, we won’t ever stand on our balcony and look at a sunrise like this again. We will never tell our favorite stories together, we will never play Marco/ polo in the grocery store again. He will never see Landen grow up, He will never heat me complain about just how long it takes him to get dressed. We will never dance in the car again. He will never roll over and pull me closer in bed again... we will never live the life we would’ve had together. My best friend, the love of my life, my partner, I can hear him say “everything will be okay, love we will get through this together”. I’m not sure how but we will get through this, and I will always look at the sunrise and feel the excitement you had about our family, about the future and I will always remember the love you gave me from the second we met. I love you so much more than anyone can even fathom.