09/29/2026
Happy 17th Birthday to Taio โ my longest-serving employee, roommate and personal security detail. ๐โค๏ธ
For 17 years, Taio has held several very important positions in my life, including:
๐พ Bathroom Mate โ because apparently I cannot be trusted to p*e unsupervised.
๐ฉโ๐ณ Cooking Assistant โ specializing in quality control, floor cleanup and staring intensely at anything that might accidentally fall.
๐ฅ Foot Warmer โ environmentally friendly, highly effective and occasionally impossible to move.
๐ก๏ธ Head of Security โ protecting me from suspicious noises, unexpected visitors, delivery people, squirrels and absolutely nothing at all.
๐ Personal Supervisor โ follows me from room to room to make sure I am completing all tasks according to Taio standards.
๐ช Door Monitor โ I may technically own the house, but Taio apparently manages access.
๐๏ธ Bed Inspector โ ensures all blankets and pillows meet strict comfort requirements.
๐ Food Safety Officer โ willing to personally taste-test anything I cook. Her dedication to this role is truly remarkable.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Personal Es**rt โ because wherever Iโm going, apparently WE are going.
And finallyโฆ
โค๏ธ My best friend.
After 17 years, she still follows me everywhere. I haven't had privacy since approximately 2009, I've shared more meals than I'd like to admit, and I've spent nearly two decades carefully positioning my feet around a dog who believes her assigned location is wherever I happen to be.
Would I change a single second of it?
Not a chance.
Happy 17th Birthday to my shadow, my protector, my sous-chef, my bathroom buddy, my foot warmer and one of the greatest loves of my life.
17 years together and apparently I still cannot be left unattended. ๐๐พโค๏ธ
Love you, Taio. Now please get out of the bathroom. :)