18/04/2026
Thoughts of S U I C I D E 💔
Content Note:
This post speaks about suicidal thoughts and mental health. Please take care while reading. If this feels too close to home, it’s okay to step away and reach out to someone you trust 🙏🏻
There are moments where my mind drifts to thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore and something I’ve come to notice…
In these moments, my body sometimes feels calm.
Like everything goes quiet for a second.
Like there’s an escape from the overwhelm.
But then, something else gently returns...
In the past week, I visited my best friend Grant in Brisbane. This time away is a reminder of what it feels like to be safe with someone. To spend time with a person I trust deeply, where I don’t have to filter myself. Where I can speak freely, be completely me, even stim without fear of being judged ❤️
Then I remember the simple things too…
A coffee at a café ☕
A small moment of peace 😌
A reminder that life isn’t always heavy 🥰
Trust doesn’t come easily to me. I hold it close, and only a few people truly sit in that space. Ana, my best friends, Felicity, Thomas and John from The Mind Cafe, and a small circle that I’m grateful for 🙏🏻
And I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on why I am the way I am. Not as an excuse, but as understanding 😔
Experiences shape us. Abandonment, childhood pain, moments where safety didn’t feel certain. They leave an imprint 😔
But understanding those parts of ourselves isn’t about staying stuck in them. It’s about meeting ourselves with a little more compassion ❤️
If you’re reading this and you feel something similar, you’re not alone. Even in the moments where things feel quiet in the wrong way, there can still be gentle, real moments waiting for you too 🙏🏻
If you’re struggling right now:
Please reach out to someone you trust.
Give Lifeline Australia a call on 13 11 14 (24/7).
You deserve support, and you don’t have to carry this alone 🙏🏻